A sober Joe Rogan is now admitting he had smoked an “entire fanny pack” of marijuana shortly before endorsing Senator Bernie Sanders. For the older readers of The Glorious American, marijuana is a name sometimes used to describe the sticky icky devil lettuce. Rogan addressed his embarrassing blunder on a recent podcast. “Before I begin,…
Category: Breaking News
Democrats Give John Bolton a Nuclear Warhead as a ‘Thank You’ for Turning on Trump
As a show of their gratitude for turning on President Trump, Washington democrats all pitched in and bought John Bolton his very own nuclear warhead. “Why are you here? No comment,” a grumpy Bolton initially said as he saw several prominent Democrats gathered on his porch. But when he learned what they had brought him,…
DNC Reminds Pete Buttigieg to Stop Giggling Every Time He Hears the Word ‘Caucus’
Earlier this week Mayor Pete Buttigieg had to again be reminded to stop giggling when he hears the word ‘caucus’. “We feel we’ve been very clear on this with Mr. Buttigieg,” DNC Chairman Tom Perez told The Glorious American. “But when an audience member’s question contained the word ‘caucus’ and the Mayor interrupted her by…
Doctors Find Disturbing Trend with Coronavirus
As the World Health Organization scrambles for answers about the coronavirus, some clues were found over the weekend. It appears the more Adam Schiff’s voice is heard on international television, the more the infection wreaks havoc around the world. “It’s not scientifically responsible to conclude that Adams Schiff’s voice is the only cause for the…
Justice John Roberts Reminds Both Parties to Save the More Heated Discourse For Facebook
During the impeachment hearings, Justice John Roberts was forced to remind each party to save their more explosive fighting words for Facebook. “HEY! Don’t make me bring Kavanaugh over here! I can tell you some of that stuff the democrats accused him of is legit—so straighten up! All this nasty fighting needs to go where…