When Media Matters uncovered a 1997 radio interview of Donald Trump saying: “Snow? Oh, it’s terrific. Believe me–just terrific,” it largely went unnoticed. However, when Mitt Romney heard the clip, he sprung into action. “I think what we have here is a President who’s gone insane,” Romney softly said to a gathering of press. “Snow?…
Category: Breaking News
Warren Vows to Give Bisexual Miniature Horse Veto Power Over Secretary of Labor Pick
Speaking at an event in Cedar Rapids this week, Elizabeth Warren said: “For my Secretary of Labor, I insist on the input from someone with hooves. I think that’s obvious. And secondly, I no longer care what cisgender people think. I don’t trust ‘em,” she announced to a stunned Iowa crowd. “Now, that narrows it…
Joe Rogan Admits He Was “Absolutely Wasted” When Endorsing Bernie Sanders
A sober Joe Rogan is now admitting he had smoked an “entire fanny pack” of marijuana shortly before endorsing Senator Bernie Sanders. For the older readers of The Glorious American, marijuana is a name sometimes used to describe the sticky icky devil lettuce. Rogan addressed his embarrassing blunder on a recent podcast. “Before I begin,…
Democrats Give John Bolton a Nuclear Warhead as a ‘Thank You’ for Turning on Trump
As a show of their gratitude for turning on President Trump, Washington democrats all pitched in and bought John Bolton his very own nuclear warhead. “Why are you here? No comment,” a grumpy Bolton initially said as he saw several prominent Democrats gathered on his porch. But when he learned what they had brought him,…
DNC Reminds Pete Buttigieg to Stop Giggling Every Time He Hears the Word ‘Caucus’
Earlier this week Mayor Pete Buttigieg had to again be reminded to stop giggling when he hears the word ‘caucus’. “We feel we’ve been very clear on this with Mr. Buttigieg,” DNC Chairman Tom Perez told The Glorious American. “But when an audience member’s question contained the word ‘caucus’ and the Mayor interrupted her by…