Trump Negative For Coronavirus, Media Asks Why His White Blood Cells ‘Have To Be White?’

Trump Negative For Coronavirus, Media Asks Why His White Blood Cells ‘Have To Be White?’

President Donald Trump has tested negative for the coronavirus, according to a White House statement.  However, members of the media pounced when the details of the report mentioned the President’s white blood cells. “Oh, I see,” quipped CNN’s Jim Acosta to the President.  “Can Americans assume that your white blood cells are white as a…

Embarrassing! Elizabeth Warren Forgets to Begin Debate Answer With Made-up, Stupid Little Story

Embarrassing! Elizabeth Warren Forgets to Begin Debate Answer With Made-up, Stupid Little Story

It was quite a gaffe from Elizabeth Warren on Friday night. In the recent Democratic debate, the Senator accidentally answered a moderator’s question without some made-up, stupid little story. As everyone knows, the long-standing Democrat tradition is to pretend that a recent exchange with a lowly peasant on the campaign trail showed them the answer…

CNN Wins Oscar For Best Original Editing

CNN Wins Oscar For Best Original Editing

The folks at CNN had a great Sunday night as they locked up the award for best original editing. And credit where credit’s due. On a nightly basis, CNN has been taking world events and uniquely editing them in a colossal way. The academy singled out some of CNN’s best work throughout the year in…

DNC Instructs Pete Buttigieg to Just Claim He Won the 2020 General Election

DNC Instructs Pete Buttigieg to Just Claim He Won the 2020 General Election

In a puzzling move, the DNC has instructed Mayor Pete Buttigieg to go ahead and claim victory of the entire 2020 presidential election. “WOW! Can you believe it, you guys?!” Buttigieg yelled. “We just BEAT DONALD TRUMP!” the mayor proclaimed to a stunned New Hampshire crowd. Political pundits are praising the tactic citing that this…

Joe Biden Rages At DNC: “You Can Steal My Delegates, But You’ll Never Take My Leg Hair!”

Joe Biden Rages At DNC: “You Can Steal My Delegates, But You’ll Never Take My Leg Hair!”

With all the uncertainty surrounding the Iowa results, it appears the stress finally got to Joe Biden. “I won Iowa fair and square!” Biden screamed at media members. “Did those rats at the DNC forget I’m considered the white Obama?!” Joe seemed to snap when he angrily yelled: “You can steal my delegates, but you’ll…