If you thought this was clickbait, you’re wrong. Not only did an NBA player truly own Barack Obama toilet paper, but there’s a photo. The player, Seattle-native Spencer Hawes, is a conservative who spent years in ultra-liberal NBA locker rooms. While never a star player, Hawes’ skills were ahead of his time. He was a…
Category: Sports News
Stunner: Kamala Harris Wins National Hot Dog Eating Contest
CONEY ISLAND, N.J. — Favorite Joey Chestnut was demolished by Kamala Harris in Nathan’s Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest after the VP made a surprise appearance at the annual event. Harris, who has been tasked with traveling the nation to give cringy speeches to championship athletes, was originally planning on just a small photo op. “But…
Jill Enrolls Husband In X-Games To Combat Rumors Of Frailty
DAYTONA BEACH, FL— Nothing warms Jill Biden’s heart quite like seeing her husband slowly fall down a flight of stairs. And we all know her love language is watching the fictional president roll his bike to a complete stop, forget how to balance, and fall over like a sack of potatoes. But when the gifted…
Sexism Much? NBA Goes 60 Consecutive Draft Picks Without Selecting Girl
BROOKLYN, NY –In what can only be described as a brazen display of sexism, all 30 NBA teams exclusively selected men during this week’s NBA draft. The streak of male-only draftees reached a whopping 60 before the ESPN program came to a merciful end. “I’m shocked and bewildered,” said NBA Commissioner Adam Silver. “The whole…
Man Accidentally Sits Through Full WNBA Game Believing He Was Watching Horse Racing
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — A local man, who wishes to remain anonymous, was left ashamed and embarrassed after realizing he had mistaken a WNBA game for a horse racing event. The man, who is named Adam Wagner, is a self-proclaimed horse racing enthusiast and was thrilled to learn Minneapolis was hosting the event. “I saw a…