NASHVILLE, TN–Fans have long speculated that Taylor Swift’s hit song, “Stupid Little Potato Man,” is about CNN personality Brian Stelter. Now, the serious newsman is finally weighing in. “It’s not about me, you guys, so stop it. Taylor’s song is about, uuuhh, society. And sometimes artists view society as sort of like a stupid guy who looks…
Category: Pop Culture
Oprah Decries White Privilege After Learning About Some Money That’s Not Hers
CHICAGO, IL– For the last several years, Oprah Winfrey has been relativity quiet on the issue of white privilege. That was until she learned there was money in circulation that wasn’t hers. On an episode of her new Apple TV series Worship The Oprah, Or Else, the billionaire explained that she’s always been leery of a…
Biden Insists On Singing National Anthem, Accidentally Sings Baby Shark
WASHINGTON, DC–Despite White House staff begging for him not to, Joe Biden insisted on serenading all nine of his loyal supporters with the National Anthem. However, his staff’s worst fears were realized when he promptly began singing ‘Baby Shark.’ “We knew whatever came out of his mouth wouldn’t come close to the National Anthem,” an…
‘How I Launched My Political Career: The Kamala Harris Story’ To Air At 1 AM On Cinemax
LOS ANGELES, CA–Due to the graphic nature of how Kamala Harris climbed the ranks of the political world, every news network was forced to pass on airing her documentary. NBC was all set to air the filth-filled program until the FCC determined that showing an 86-year-old, Willie Brown degrade himself on camera would be too…
Joe Biden Looking Forward To Plagiarizing Bill Pullman’s Speech From Independence Day
WASHINGTON, DC— As we all know, it’s been decided that fictional president Joe Biden will be forbidden from making any public appearance for the rest of his life. However, the White House will begrudgingly allow the old man to conduct his most cherished tradition. Stealing Bill Pullman’s famous speech from the 1996 film Independence Day.…