BURBANK, CA–In a bizarre appearance on Friday night’s Jeopardy, Adam Schiff incorrectly answered, “What is the Russians’ to every single question. To kick things off, Schiff chose the category ‘Rhymes With Toast’ for $200. The answer was, ‘Spooky dead people,’ and the congressman confidently said, “What is the Russians!” When he was told he was…
Category: Pop Culture
Alec Baldwin Offered Over 2,000 Roles After Oscars Require Handicapped Actors
LOS ANGELES, CA – On Monday Hollywood was abuzz after the Academy of Motion Pictures announced new diversity requirements. And so was Alec Baldwin’s phone. Effective immediately, one of the requirements a film must satisfy to become Oscar-eligible is the inclusion of handicapped actors. Immediately, studio executives scrambled to call America’s favorite handicapped star, Alec Baldwin.…
Offensive ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ Song Updated To ‘B****, It’s F****** Freezing, Best Getcha Jacket, H**!'
BURBANK, CA — The lyrics of ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ have been updated for a more equitable and sensitive America. Soon, you’ll be hearing the new version titled ‘B****, It’s F****** Freezing, Best Getcha Jacket, H**!’ Written and performed by the rapper 2 Chainz, the new version will hit radio airwaves this week. In the name…
‘Bring Me This Genius,’ Biden Whispers To Staff While Watching Elf
WASHINGTON, DC — Thinking he was watching CNN, Joe Biden found himself watching the 2003 Christmas classic Elf. The fictional president instantly became enamored with the movie’s star, Buddy the Elf. “Jean-Pierre! Come quick! CNN’s done it again! They’ve found perhaps the world’s most distinguished statesman,” he yelled to his press secretary. As they…
