Order has been restored in the Capitol building parking garage after Joe Biden ordered hamster feeders be installed for the National Guardsmen. Also, as a thank you for risking their lives for our country, a large exercise wheel was assembled. The 45,000 troops were brought to DC to make sure Biden didn’t wander off before…
Category: Law
Trump Immediately Reclaims White House Using Eminent Domain
Well, that was fast. Using some clever court filings, Donald Trump was able to immediately reclaim the White House using eminent domain. As construction for “Trump Tower Swamp” begins, some MAGA hat-wearing city planners agreed that the White House property makes the most sense for a parking structure. The tower will be directly in front…
Trump Pardons Prison Mike In Touching White House Ceremony
It was a tearjerker on the White House lawn Monday as President Trump announced the pardon of the infamous thief and kidnapper known as Prison Mike. “Get up here, Mike!” Trump yelled to the criminal currently on parole. “Ya know, a lot of people tell me I should never forgive you for kidnapping Barron,” the…
Rappers Who Praised Trump Receive Another 90 Day Extension From Woke Mob
Another extension has been granted to all the rappers who were once friendly towards President Donald Trump. They now have 90 more days before the woke mob comes to destroy their lives. Their lives and assets were originally scheduled to be annihilated on Sunday. However, a DC-area judge accepted the extension request, which was just…
Major Corporations Stop All Business With Anyone Involved With The Klan, Joe Biden Hit Hardest
It was a disappointing day for the Bidens after all major corporations announced they would cease business with anyone associated with the Ku Klux Klan. As no one knows, Biden gave the eulogy of the late Senator Robert Byrd, a former Klan leader. After Byrd excelled as a recruiter over at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car, the Klan nabbed…
