HAYWARD, CA – After Renee Porter’s 2021 Chevy Malibu was carjacked by a gun-wielding Biden voter, it seemed recovering the vehicle was hopeless. But Renee had a trick up her sleeve. “I told the authorities my attacker was pro-life. I yelled, ‘This bloodthirsty man wasn’t even bloodthirsty for the citizens too young to vote Democrat!’…
Category: Law
Handwritten Note Shows FBI’s Internal Debate With Russia Collusion Hoax
WASHINGTON, DC — Newly unsealed FBI records appear to show the agents decided to be ‘corrupt dirty cops’ when interviewing Michael Flynn. The note, which was of the 5th grade-style ‘circle one’ variety, also shows it was Obama’s idea for the agents to be partisan, lawless hacks. “We understand this note makes us look bad,”…
Outrageous Bigotry: Sex Reassignment Surgeon Sued For Only Offering Two Genders
PORTLAND, OR – The owner of Rip City Chop Shop, a famous sex reassignment clinic in Beaverton, is being sued for only offering two genders. The lawsuit called Doctor Hackabunch’s practice a ‘worse-than-Hitler act of outrageous bigotry’ and is seeking a modest sum of just over 14 billion dollars. “I’m sitting in the lobby, and…
Star Witness Claims Democrats Have Cause to Arrest Trump beCAUSE They Hate Him
MANHATTAN, NY — In what ended up being a groundbreaking indictment, DA Alvin Braggs called regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper, Michael Scott, to testify. It has been rumored that Democrats have been weaponizing the powers of government to harass President Trump without proper cause. Then Michael Scott, fresh off a visit from his favorite…
Uvalde Police Demand To Know Why Gun Control Is Taking So Long To Get Here
UVALDE, TX — Unhappy, wealthy, coastal liberals are waiting and waiting for sweeping gun control laws, and the members of the Uvalde police department are furious with all the inaction. “What on earth is taking them so long! This is outrageous!” Yelled the chief of police at congress. “We pay them to protect us, and they’re just…