Harrisburg, PA: Even though the tears were welling up in his eyes, Govenor Josh Shapiro delivered a strong and powerful message to the arsonist who tried to destroy his life. “Look around. Look at my house. Look at my young children still weeping with fear,” he said, pointing at his family. “I want the radical…
Category: Law
Odd: All Crime From Dangerous Trump Supporters Stops During FBI’s Company Picnic
WASHINGTON, D.C.–An odd development unfolded during the FBI’s company picnic Wednesday. All criminal activity from dangerous Trump supporters sharply ceased precisely during the annual event. Even small offenses like spraypainting ‘Yay for Hitler!’ on college campuses and writing ‘I don’t tip those who look different than me!’ on receipts also abruptly ended during picnic hours.…
Obama Spends Another Weekend Furiously Trying To Start Rumor He Went To Epstein Island Too
MARTHA’S VINEYARD, MA — Poodle-enthusiast Barrack Obama has spent another weekend online frantically trying to start the rumor that he’s also attended the festivities at Jeffrey Epstein’s Island. Obama, most famously known as a left-handed metrosexual, has become obsessed with being part of the celebrity ‘cool table,’ but not once has his super American-sounding…
Trump Pardons Prison Mike
WASHINGTON, DC — It was a tearjerker on the White House lawn today as President Trump announced the pardon of the infamous thief and kidnapper known as Prison Mike. “Get up here, Mike!” Trump yelled at the criminal currently on parole. “Ya know, a lot of people tell me I should never forgive you for…
Hunter Biden Breaks Silence on Andrew Tate: 'He Should Live A Pure Life And Respect The Laws'
MALIBU, CA – Expert sex trafficker and lawbreaking enthusiast Hunter Biden has weighed in on the controversy surrounding Andrew Tate. Tate, who has defied numerous demands from the WEF to become a sniveling little bata male, was taken into custody for testing ten times the legal limit of not giving an eff. Thankfully, Hunter is…