WASHINGTON, D.C. — The homosexual community was just healing from the latest episode of This Is Us, and now this? The Supreme Court, a government body infamous for not being gay despite repeated warnings, abolished abortion this week. An aggressive attack that disproportionately targets the homosexual men of Texas. “Their agenda against us is so blatant,” Dallas’ Josh McGayhee fumed. “The…
Category: Law
Odd: All Crime From Dangerous Trump Supporters Stops During FBI’s Company Picnic
WASHINGTON, D.C.–An odd development unfolded during the FBI’s company picnic Thursday. All criminal activity from dangerous Trump supporters sharply ceased precisely during the annual event. Even small offenses like spraypainting ‘Yay for Hitler!’ on college campuses and writing ‘I don’t tip those who look different than me!’ on receipts also abruptly ended during the picnic…
Hunter Biden Accidentally Discharges Weapon Through Father’s Gun Control Bill
WASHINGTON, D.C. –Joe Biden’s groundbreaking gun control bill may have been undermined a bit when it was immediately shot up from a gun his son was holding. “With this legislation, we have finally put an end to dangerous and stupid criminals recklessly shooting off their guns,” fictional President Joe Biden said, holding up the bill.…
'Yeah, But I Thought He Was A Dog Groomer' Judge Jackson Says Over 21 Times In Confirmation Hearing
WASHINGTON, D.C.— During her confirmation hearing, Judge Ketajilkjxfg Brown Jackson brilliantly side-stepped all criticism for not punishing child abusers by claiming she thought the convicted men were all ‘dog groomers.’ “Ms. Jackson, can you explain why you only gave a Tallahassee man five days of community service for conducting the grooming of over fifty-five children…
Mafia Renames Hideout ‘Hunter’s Laptop’ To Avoid FBI Suspicion
NETWORK, NJ– Desperate to stay off the Fed’s radar, the mob has scrapped the letters ‘AstroTurf Supply & Installation’ off their hideout and renamed it ‘Hunter’s Laptop.’ The storefront is located in Newark’s Westgate Shopping Center and the FBI refuses to come within fifty miles of the new shop. To show how safe the new…