Feds Warn More Eerie UFO News Could Drop If Further Biden Crimes Exposed

Feds Warn More Eerie UFO News Could Drop If Further Biden Crimes Exposed

WASHINGTON, DC – Federal officials acknowledge a mysterious link between whistleblowers proving Joe Biden’s crimes and UFO sightings, John Kirby informed Monday. Kirby, famous for making a super-serious face to compensate for his ridiculous last name, grew frustrated at the press for overlooking the recent other-worldly sightings.   “Sir, we have 4K footage of a father/son…

Oregon Bill Prohibits Texas Men From Sleeping With Portland Women

Oregon Bill Prohibits Texas Men From Sleeping With Portland Women

PORTLAND, OR– If Texas thought it could pass anti-abortion legislation without any consequences, they were deeply mistaken. As punishment for trying to protect babies, local lawmakers in what’s left of Oregon voted 11-0 to prohibit Texas men from having any sexual relations with Portland women. The bill titled ‘Snatch Back Our Snatch’ took effect at midnight,…

Little-Known Biden Staffer Finds ‘Big, Beautiful‘ Area To Hold Overflow Migrants

Little-Known Biden Staffer Finds ‘Big, Beautiful‘ Area To Hold Overflow Migrants

WASHINGTON, D.C.–A little-known and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has given the administration a brilliant solution for their overcrowded migrant situation. “You see this big, beautiful area down here?  A lotta people are saying this is the perfect place for Mexicans,” he said, pointing to the country just below the United States of America.  “Call up…