ATLANTA, GA — If state lawmakers aren’t careful, they might soon drive away their local Antifa chapter.  The leadership of the group has announced their intention to completely boycott any state that requires I.D.s for voting. “We get one sniff of that uncivilized restriction, and we’ll pack up our stuff and leave,” an Antifa leader…

BUCKS CO., PA – Early this morning, a multi-car accident happened in Bensalem Township, PA.  The wreckage left three injured and two Democrat voters, the coroner informed at the scene of the crash.  Eyewitnesses said a Pennsylvania Democrat election officials arrived in their blue minivan and poured onto the scene with their clipboards and little…

WASHINGTON, DC — Tired of Donald Trump garnering sympathy for being shot with guns, the Kamala Harris campaign has begun selling t-shirts that read, ‘But Did He Die?’ for $32. “With this shirt, we wanted to start a larger conversation,” a Harris handler explained in a rare press event. “Our side stands for love and…

PHILADELPHIA, PA — Presidential hopeful Kamala Harris brought things into focus on Tuesday night when she reminded Americans that the debate stage is no place for a debate.  When Donald Trump accused her of trying to pack the USA with illegal immigrants tighter than a Chipotle Burrito, she stopped him dead in his tracks.  “No.  This…

NEWHALL, CA—Brenda and Noah Heter were devastated to learn that a pair of local raccoons left their trashcans a 2-star Yelp review Friday night. The raccoons also left a brutal paragraph detailing the Heters’ shortcomings. “Probably the last time we eat at the Heters’ trash cans,” the raccoons wrote. “Most of their trash was stupid…