Lightfoot Enters Solitary Confinement After Vowing To Only Talk To People Who Look Like Her

Lightfoot Enters Solitary Confinement After Vowing To Only Talk To People Who Look Like Her

CHICAGO, IL — On Tuesday, Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot became tired of “inclusion,” and the creature announced it would only socialize with people who look like…it. “For years everything was, ‘let’s be friendly to Mexicans and whites and Asians’ and I’ve just had it up to here with inclusion!” Lightfoot yelled holding her hand above…

Democrats Propose Vote-By-Raccoon

Democrats Propose Vote-By-Raccoon

WASHINGTON, DC – Republicans are claiming Democrats’ new preferred method of voting, vote-by-raccoon, is unreliable. Another wild conspiracy theory from the GOP. “The idea that America’s wonderful raccoon population cannot be trusted to deliver the will of the people is preposterous,” Pelosi said.  “They will warm our hearts as they scamper door to door collecting…

CNN: 'No Two Planes Have Done More Damage To USA Than The Two Ron DeSantis Sent To Martha's Vineyard'

CNN: 'No Two Planes Have Done More Damage To USA Than The Two Ron DeSantis Sent To Martha's Vineyard'

ATLANTA, GA – CNN is reporting that Ron DeSantis is claiming credit for the most destructive and dangerous use of two airplanes in the history of the United States. Using planes, the Florida Governor overnighted hundreds of Mexicans to Martha’s Vineyard, the epicenter of rising sea levels. It’s being called an obvious attempt to kill…