Republicans are often accused of immediately embracing any celebrity who voices even the slightest amount of conservative values. Well, that didn’t happen this time because The Heritage Foundation waited nearly two full days before appointing Nicki Minaj as their president. “Miss Minaj’s roughly fifty hours of rejecting the left demonstrates a rich legacy of conservativism…
Category: U.S. News
Democrats Thrilled To Learn Hillary’s Clothes Can Fit Way More Slogans
Since so many people stopped listening to AOC’s voice, she shrewdly decided to print Democrat talking points on her hiney. It worked so well, the Democrat National Committee embraced the innovative tactic and looked for more people to wear their slogans. And, boy, did they hit the jackpot. In less than a day, Hillary “The…
Portland Replaces All Fire Fighters With Fire Pacifists
Portland’s City Council has voted 11-0 to replace all fire fighters with fire pacifists. In a statement, the city reminded the public that they are firmly against all ‘fighters’ except for their 6,000 Antifa members. “While today marks a huge step backward in terms of fire safety, we take a massive step forward in hiring some…
Oregon Bill Prohibits Texas Men From Sleeping With Portland Women
If Texas thought they could pass conservative legislation without any consequences, they were deeply mistaken. As punishment for trying to protect babies, local lawmakers in what’s left of Oregon, voted 11-0 to prohibit Texas men from having any sexual relations with Portland women. The bill titled ‘Snatch Back Our Snatch’ took effect at midnight, and TV…
Shameful: Joe Biden Leaves Dozens Of Americans Stranded In Portland
In perhaps his most heartless move to date, fictional President Joe Biden has decided to abandon roughly two dozen Americans in the savage region of Portland, Oregon. Biden’s call to officially withdraw came shortly after Portland’s bearded men and women beat down the last few police officers using only a pinecone, three house cats, and…