When Joe Biden took the oath of office on January 20th, he did so carrying the hopes, dreams, and urges of perverts everywhere. Minutes after laying his hand on the Bible (and then unceremoniously shouting, “Should I be touching this after where my hands have been?”), Joe Biden became the first openly perverted President…
Category: U.S. News
Biden Orders Hamster Feeders Be Installed For National Guard
Order has been restored in the Capitol building parking garage after Joe Biden ordered hamster feeders be installed for the National Guardsmen. Also, as a thank you for risking their lives for our country, a large exercise wheel was assembled. The 45,000 troops were brought to DC to make sure Biden didn’t wander off before…
Target Introduces ‘Democrat Only’ Self-Checkout Line Where They Just Run Out Without Paying
What proved to be a successful pilot program over the summer, Target stores are pleased to roll out their new ‘Democrat only’ self-checkout lines nationwide. The large retail store boasts the new line will be a handy way for loyal Democrats to simply sprint out of the building without the tedious and racist process of…
Major Corporations Stop All Business With Anyone Involved With The Klan, Joe Biden Hit Hardest
It was a disappointing day for the Bidens after all major corporations announced they would cease business with anyone associated with the Ku Klux Klan. As no one knows, Biden gave the eulogy of the late Senator Robert Byrd, a former Klan leader. After Byrd excelled as a recruiter over at Enterprise-Rent-A-Car, the Klan nabbed…
Republicans Trade Second Amendment For Chance To Remain On Social Media
In a stunning compromise, the GOP has surrendered America’s right to bear arms for a chance to remain on Twitter and Facebook. President Trump inked the deal on Friday and all guns will be rounded up early next week. “Yeah, I mean… sometimes you have to take the best deal on the table,” remarked President…
