We all know Anthony Fauci showered the Wuhan Lab with American tax dollars and Edible Arrangements from the nearby wet market. But you may not have known that the doctor wrote “next’s year’s pandemic” in a 2019 check memo line. Rival Rand Paul questioned Fauci about the matter on Monday. “What the [explicit] is this…
Category: World & Weather
ISIS Leaders ‘Can’t Even’ As US Military Debuts All-Gay SEAL Team
ISIS has seen its first setback under the Biden administration after top Pentagon officials assume they are taken aback by the US’s commitment to diversity and inclusion. Joe Biden has insisted the first-ever all-gay SEAL teams conduct the last few counter-terrorism missions in Syria. Unfortunately, the first group thought it would be funny to reenact the gas station…
Pangolin ‘Likely Responsible’ For Soaring Inflation Joe Biden Says
Inflation is getting so high even Hunter Biden is worried. But his father has already determined why it’s happening. “Look, we all know what’s going on here, folks,” Joe Biden began. “It was a Trump-supporting pangolin who set off a chain reaction that my administration is now dealing with. I think he was licking himself or something and…
John Cena Apologizes To China For Using Cars Instead Of Rickshaws In New Fast & Furious Film
Most WWE wrestlers moonlight as foreign affairs experts and John Cena is no exception. So after reviewing his latest Fast & Furious film, Cena noticed a grave and insensitive error that will certainly outrage the Chinese Communist Party. He posted an apology video in Mandarin, addressing the sin: “We were way out of line for using…
Hannity Secures Cease-Fire Between Dan Bongino And Geraldo Rivera
A cease-fire between Dan Bongino and Geraldo Rivera took effect Thursday after Sean Hannity finally convinced Rivera to stop throwing wadded up pieces of paper at a screen showing Bongino’s face. Sparks flew again this week when Bongino said he doesn’t take political advice from ‘lunatic walrus men’. This provoked Geraldo to scream, “I’m sick of…