Mark Milley was immediately fired after an explosive report revealed the General tipped off a D.C. area girl scout troop that Joe Biden was on his way. “At dawn, I want him shot, hung, sniffed, misgendered, and hung,” a stern Biden said, boiling with rage.  “In my two hundred years of public service, I’ve never…

Perhaps Barack Obama’s greatest skill as President was showering the Taliban with riches. But over the years, it seems someone with beady little eyes was watching his every move. That is why shortly after CNN called Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-like’ on their little-known show, Hitler? I Hardly Know Her, Joe Biden impulsively sent $82 billion worth of military equipment over to…

Ever since ISIS landed their big sponsorship deal with Kellogg’s cereal, ‘ISIS-K’ has been acting super cocky. It’s making our fictional president look weak and he’s had enough. So two weeks ago Joe Biden decided to endear himself to the compassionate left-wing by randomly blowing up an innocent family. “My poll numbers are dropping faster…

In terms of decision-making, Joe Biden is on a roll. In a move that many in Washington are praising, the fictional President has offered those caught in Hurricane Ida some of that classic Biden brainpower. “This morning I have ordered thousands of large, industrial fans be brought down to help the people of Seattle–errr. Scranton. No.…

The fictional president’s decision to leave thousands of Americans behind enemy lines has inspired many fumigation companies to now offer the ‘Biden Package.’ This special offer pays tribute to Joe Biden by tenting large apartment buildings and quickly spraying deadly pesticides inside before getting the occupants out. “People don’t understand how much preparation it takes to knock…