Dictators in China and Iran have reached a historic agreement regarding which country will be allowed to blackmail Joe Biden first. Like all of Biden’s illegal dealings, details of the negotiations were leaked. “Ok, everyone relax! We’ll all have plenty of time to blackmail Joe and weaken America.” George Stephanopoulos yelled on a Zoom call…
Category: World & Weather
5,000 Hondurans RSVP For Biden Inauguration
It should be quite the fiesta at the Biden inauguration as over 5,000 Hondurans confirm they’ll be in attendance. Similar to the desperation most voters felt on election day, a large stampede of long-time Biden supporters aren’t even stopping to eat or sleep as they travel on foot to Washington DC. “This shouldn’t be a…
Don Lemon: ‘America Has Embarrassed Herself In Front Of CHAZ’
It’s been a rough few days for America. Thankfully, Don Lemon was there to help put things in perspective. “Rioting. Breaking things. Seriously? I, for one, demand to know where these unhappy protestors got the idea that these actions were acceptable,” a fuming Lemon said. “And to make matters worse, America has embarrassed herself in…
Wal-Mart Sends Puzzling Tweet To Senator Josh Hawley
On Wednesday Republican Josh Hawley tweeted that he was not super thrilled that Joe Biden stole the Presidential election. Naturally, Americans sat back and waited for Wal-Mart’s response. Minutes later, the mega store came out swinging. “Sum ting wong with Josh Hawree! Bidon win! Hawree so redicurus!” their tweet read. It was an odd response…
Brian Stelter Makes Quick Trip To Pakistan Before They Assign All The Genders
Minutes after Congress made the prudent decision to give Pakistan $25 million for gender studies, CNN’s Brian Stelter was packing his bags. “I heard they’re going to be assigning genders and I just really need to be there for that,” Stelter said. “Can’t miss this opportunity.” As Washington elites pointed out, it costs around $25…
