In an effort to keep Californians in a perpetual state of fear, the state has officially changed its motto to “We’re two weeks behind Italy”. “This phrase will forever remind us to prepare for what’s happening in Italy right now,” Gavin Newsom said at the new flag’s unveiling. “From now until the day we die—which…
Category: World & Weather
Democrats Rejoice After Hearing More Foreign Murderers Enter Country
For the democrat party, it’s been nothing but bad news for years. America’s lovable, scandal-free darling lost in 2016, Trump took out some of their favorite terrorists, and then they forgot to pick a nominee with a functioning brain. But it seems their luck may have finally turned. Their absolute favorite thing has happened this…
Newsom: ‘If I Had Known You Guys Were Going To Abuse The Beaches, I Never Would Have Created Them!’
On Sunday, Governor Gavin Newson gave a vicious response to all his Californian peasants who dared to enjoy the beautiful coastline. Shaking with rage as he stared into a TV camera, he said the following: “If I had known you guys were going to abuse the beaches—I never would have created them!” After these remarks,…
Paleontologists Find Evidence Showing Dr. Fauci's Ancestors Kept Everyone In Caves After Sabertooth Sighting
A fascinating new discovery has been made by a group of Montana paleontologists. Ancient cave art is showing evidence that Dr. Fauci’s ancestors insisted all mankind remain in their caves shortly after the sighting of a sabretooth tiger. In the cave drawings, the Fauci family used several graphs showing the risk. One chart showed that…
