CNN Calls Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-Like’, Biden Reflexively Gives Him $82 Billion In Military Equipment

CNN Calls Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-Like’, Biden Reflexively Gives Him $82 Billion In Military Equipment

Perhaps Barack Obama’s greatest skill as President was showering the Taliban with riches. But over the years, it seems someone with beady little eyes was watching his every move. That is why shortly after CNN called Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-like’ on their little-known show, Hitler? I Hardly Know Her, Joe Biden impulsively sent $82 billion worth of military equipment over to…

Biden: ‘I Don’t Care How Many Families I Have To Drone, I Will Look Tough!’

Biden: ‘I Don’t Care How Many Families I Have To Drone, I Will Look Tough!’

Ever since ISIS landed their big sponsorship deal with Kellogg’s cereal, ‘ISIS-K’ has been acting super cocky. It’s making our fictional president look weak and he’s had enough. So two weeks ago Joe Biden decided to endear himself to the compassionate left-wing by randomly blowing up an innocent family. “My poll numbers are dropping faster…

Fumigation Companies Now Offering The ‘Biden-Package’ Where They Forget To Get The People Out First

Fumigation Companies Now Offering The ‘Biden-Package’ Where They Forget To Get The People Out First

The fictional president’s decision to leave thousands of Americans behind enemy lines has inspired many fumigation companies to now offer the ‘Biden Package.’ This special offer pays tribute to Joe Biden by tenting large apartment buildings and quickly spraying deadly pesticides inside before getting the occupants out. “People don’t understand how much preparation it takes to knock…