WASHINGTON, D.C.– Fictional President Joe Biden announced to the world that a surprise retaliation on Russia will be tomorrow at 1800 sharp. “Their dog-faced pony soldiers will have no idea it’s coming,” Biden sternly told the nation. “My generals have suggested we have our most transgendered, vaccinated platoon invade from the north. Each soldier will be dressed…
Category: World & Weather
DeSantis Sends 14 Sex Offenders To Biden’s Delaware Home, Bringing Total Sex Offenders To 15 At The Biden House
GEORGETOWN, DE — Courtesy of Ron DeSantis, a plane carrying fourteen sex-offending illegal aliens has arrived in Delaware. They were dropped off in front of the fictional president’s beach home on Wednesday, bringing the total count of sex offenders to fifteen at the Biden property. “Guys, let’s not get hung up on the grand total…
Kamala Harris Still Searching For The Right Person To Sleep With To Solve Border Crisis
CHICAGO, IL — Say what you will about Kamala Harris, but she’s trying everything she knows in order to solve this border crisis. Reports are she is still diligently searching for the right person to sleep with to fix this problem. On Friday, she looked all over the wealthy suburbs of Chicago, stopping into bakeries,…
Satan Himself Finally Agrees To Move To California After More Accommodations Were Made to His Liking
SACRAMENTO, CA– At long last, Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsom have received word Satan himself will be moving from Hell to the state of California. For years politicians begged the Prince of Darkness to move to California but were repeatedly told Satan could still see a sliver of difference between Hell and The Golden State. …
Biden Calls Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-Like’, Reflexively Gives Him $82 Billion In Military Equipment
WASHINGTON, DC — Barack Obama’s greatest skill as President was showering the Taliban with riches. But over the years, it seems someone with beady little eyes was watching his every move. That is why shortly after Joe Biden called Tucker Carlson ‘Taliban-like’ on his national address titled, Hitler? I Hardly Know Her, the fictional president impulsively sent $82 billion worth…