MEXICO CITY— Members of the previous administration were dealt some rather embarrassing news Friday when it was learned that Mexico had been attempting to pay for a border wall, but the US Treasury does not take Discover Card. Shortly after the 2016 election, a low-level Trump staffer received a series of voicemails from then-Mexican President…
Category: World & Weather
'Wow, Those Borders Sure Look Secure' Biden Whispers Watching Jurassic Park
WASHINGTON, DC. –As word from the Costa Rica Government continues to detail the herd of bloodthirsty dinosaurs rampaging through Jurassic Park, the Biden administration still refuses to call it a crisis. “We’ve seen the reports, and we’ll continue to monitor the situation, but that theme park is still a beacon of safety and security,” Karine…
Kamala Harris Still Searching For The Right Person To Sleep With To Solve Border Crisis
CHICAGO, IL — Say what you will about Kamala Harris, but she’s trying everything she knows in order to solve this border crisis. Reports are she is still diligently searching for the right person to sleep with to fix this problem. On Friday, she looked all over the wealthy suburbs of Chicago, stopping into bakeries,…
Footage Of Biden Talking About Kids Touching His Leg Hair Used To Slow Migrant Surge
EL PASO, TX–The Biden administration is still dumbfounded that the promise of free healthcare, education, and cash hasn’t slowed the surge of illegal immigrants into America. Therefore, the frustrated border control team has set up a visual deterrent to dissuade the migrants from crossing. A horrifying one. Playing on a loop, footage of Joe Biden…
White House Proudly Announces Women Make Up ‘Roughly Half’ Of Those Abandoned In Afghanistan
WASHINGTON, DC — Watching this administration get humiliated has made Republicans happier than General Mike Milley judging a transgender wet t-shirt contest. The globe is now seeing the real Joe Biden the way American voters did just before the 2 am ballot dump. But as Republicans were basking in the destruction of the Democrat party,…