SPRINGFIELD, OH — Insane cat ladies, once an annoying but influential part of the Democrat coalition, are now regarded as forward-thinking survivalists according to President Donald Trump. Because cats are now a prominent part of the menu under the Biden-Harris administration, Trump has recategorized cat ladies as ‘preppers.’ “It’s actually smart. These ladies are stealing…
Category: World & Weather
Kamala Harris Accidentally Builds Border Wall With Old Wine Boxes
EL PASO, TX — In a rare visit to Texas, Kamala Harris inadvertently delivered on one of Donald Trump’s key initiatives: She built the wall. The massive barrier, which the locals are calling “The Pinot Partition,” was accidentally constructed from hundreds of her discarded wine boxes. “These empty boxes kept being thrown out her campaign…
Kamala Harris Desperately Searching For Right Person To Sleep With To Fix Border Real Quick
CHICAGO, IL – With fictional president Joe Biden being forced out of the 2024 election at gunpoint, Kamala Harris now needs to look competent–and fast. Reports are swirling that she is still diligently searching for the right person to sleep with to fix this that pesky border crisis. On Sunday night, while campaigning in Illinois,…
Biden Says Surprise Retaliation On Russia To Take Place Tomorrow At 1800 From The North
WASHINGTON, D.C.– Fictional President Joe Biden announced to the world that a surprise retaliation on Russia will be tomorrow at 1800 sharp. “Their dog-faced pony soldiers will have no idea it’s coming,” Biden sternly told the nation. “My generals have suggested we have our most transgendered, vaccinated platoon invade from the north. Each soldier will be dressed…
Footage Of Biden Talking About Kids Touching His Leg Hair Used To Slow Migrant Surge
EL PASO, TX–The Biden administration is still dumbfounded that the promise of free healthcare, education, and cash hasn’t slowed the surge of illegal immigrants into America. Therefore, the frustrated border control team has set up a visual deterrent to dissuade the migrants from crossing. A horrifying one. Playing on a loop, footage of Joe Biden…