EL PASO, TX–The Biden administration is still dumbfounded that the promise of free healthcare, education, and cash hasn’t slowed the surge of illegal immigrants. Therefore, the frustrated border control team has set up a horrifying visual deterrent. Playing on a loop, footage of Joe Biden talking about kids playing with his leg hair is now…
Category: World & Weather
Biden To Emmanuel Macron, ‘Draw Me Like One Of Your French Girls’
Washington, D.C. – In a disastrous attempt to congratulate Emmanuel Macron’s reelection victory, Joe Biden reportedly asked the French President to, “Draw me like one of your French girls.” The remark came after Biden watched James Cameron’s Titanic, again. The fictional president claims the film ‘calms him down.’ Particularly the end, where everything is being…
Hillary Reminds The World To Help Ukrainian Refugees By Donating To The Clinton Foundation
CHAPPAQUA, NY– America’s favorite sweetheart, Hillary Clinton issued a helpful reminder for those concerned for the Ukrainian people. “Remember, the Eurekaians, or whoever, need cash. Tons of cash. And who better to funnel the funds to the right place than the Clinton Foundation?” the great beast said Thursday. “And if you’re writing a check, just write ‘pantsuit’…
Little-Known Biden Staffer Finds ‘Big, Beautiful‘ Area To Hold Overflow Migrants
WASHINGTON, D.C.–A little-known and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has given the administration a brilliant solution for their overcrowded migrant situation. “You see this big, beautiful area down here? A lotta people are saying this is the perfect place for Mexicans,” he said pointing to the country just below the United States of America. “Call up…
Needing To Kill Russians Without Firing A Shot, Biden Asks Alec Baldwin To Go To Ukraine
WASHINGTON, D.C.– The White House is sending Alec ‘Hot Shot’ Baldwin to Ukraine after the administration decided they need to conquer Russia, without actually firing a weapon. “Allen! It’s me! Jill’s first lady’s brother, Joe Baldwin!” Biden began his call to the actor. “I need you on the first train to Ukraine! And pack your magic trigger…