Despite having 50 years to let it go, feminists and progressives are still fuming at the flag the men of NASA chose to plant on the Moon. “It’s an outrage,” Elizabeth Alpert told The Glorious American. “That horrible flag is what’s holding women back from our own Moon adventures. Seriously, most women are unwavering rule…
Category: World & Weather
![Bombshell: Mitch McConnell’s Ancestors Were Abusive Towards Dinosaurs](https://thegloriousamerican.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/Mitch-and-Dino-542x285.jpg)
Bombshell: Mitch McConnell’s Ancestors Were Abusive Towards Dinosaurs
Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, who recently gave Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom only “2 Turtles”, may have done so due to a conflict of interest on the matter. In a recent bombshell report by NBC News, it appears Mitch McConnell’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather may have been abusive towards dinosaurs. “While the exact details are fuzzy, cave…
![Trump Appoints The Charmin Bears To Head EPA](https://thegloriousamerican.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/Charmin-Bears-EPA-542x285.jpg)
Trump Appoints The Charmin Bears To Head EPA
Donald Trump has appointed the Charmin Bears to run the Department of Environmental Protection Agency. The President’s reasoning for the appointment was simple; “Have you seen those bears clean?” Trump said in the press conference. “I mean, if they can clean our nation like they do those hineys, we’ll be in tremendous shape!” he concluded.…
![Climatologists To Polar Bears In MAGA Hats: 'You’re Not Helping!'](https://thegloriousamerican.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/06/polar-bears-MAGA-542x285.jpg)
Climatologists To Polar Bears In MAGA Hats: 'You’re Not Helping!'
Climatologists everywhere feel their message to the public is being diluted by a pack of Polar Bears wearing MAGA hats. “We want to make one thing clear to these awful Polar Bears,” said Professor Doug Thomas of University of Chicago. “You’re not helping!” he concluded. While scientists admit the polar bear population is increasing, they…
![First-Ever International NBA Finals Means National Anthem Will Be Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”](https://thegloriousamerican.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/036a9e_092878f049b74d45a26684aa10eca5b9-mv2.jpg)
First-Ever International NBA Finals Means National Anthem Will Be Alanis Morissette’s “Ironic”
A little known NBA rule states that, in the event of an international Finals matchup, the national anthem will be “Ironic,” the 1995 hit by Canadian singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette. Understanding the public doesn’t want to sit through two separate national anthems, a 1995 game operations committee decided “Ironic” was the only song that truly captured…