NEW YORK, NY — In a new (and unsurprising) Quinnipiac poll, the blessing of Shep Smith no longer being on Fox News still ranks number one among what Americans are thankful for–for the fourth consecutive year. For the last 662 years, the top two things people were thankful for were: “Family” followed by: “Health”. Yet…
Category: Faith
Biden Makes Play For Evangelicals With New Book ‘Moral AF’
WASHINGTON, DC — Currently, only 4% of evangelicals support Joe Biden. But that might change when his new book Moral AF hits the shelves. Biden, who has lately become unable to read, write or think, has allowed his handlers to make an aggressive play for the Christians everywhere by writing a book under his name.…
Satan Himself Finally Agrees To Move To California After More Accommodations Were Made to His Liking
SACRAMENTO, CA– At long last, Nancy Pelosi and Gavin Newsom have received word Satan himself will be moving from Hell to the state of California. For years politicians begged the Prince of Darkness to move to California but were repeatedly told Satan could still see a sliver of difference between Hell and The Golden State. …
Report: Democrats Starting To Freak Out The Scientologists
Los Angeles, CA– Scientology founder, L. Ron Hubbard has released another message for the world. Oddly, this time it was a handwritten message tied to a brick and thrown through a window of the LA Times. According to Hubbard, Scientologists are getting a little freaked out by Democrats. “Liberals need to relax and let people…
The Babylon Bee To Require Full Vaccinations Before Reading Articles
The Babylon Bee announced Monday that it would require all fans and Snopes fact-checkers to be “100% vaccinated” two weeks before clicking on any of their articles. “We don’t want a bunch of unclean thumbs scrolling around on our site,” CEO, Seth Dillon said. “We know our demo very well. If there was ever a bunch that…