Los Angeles, CA– Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard has released another message for the world. Oddly, this time, it was a handwritten message tied to a brick and thrown through a window of the LA Times. According to Hubbard, Scientologists are getting a little freaked out by Joe Biden and the Democrats. “Liberals need to…
Category: Faith
Biden Makes Play For Evangelicals With New Book ‘Moral AF’
WASHINGTON, DC — Currently, only 4% of evangelicals support Joe Biden. But that might change when his new book Moral AF hits the shelves. Biden, who has lately become unable to read, write or think, has allowed his handlers to make an aggressive play for the Christians everywhere by writing a book under his name.…
Michael Moore In Critical Condition After Forgetting To Remove Easter Candy Wrappers Again
LANSING, MI — The Glorious American is deeply saddened to report that, for the eighth year in a row, Michael Moore has been hospitalized after forgetting to remove the candy wrappers before consumption. “Every Easter, we have to pump his stomach,” said an exasperated surgeon. “At this hospital, he’s known as ‘the pelican’ because he’ll eat…
Nation Ranks: 'Shep Smith Being Off Air' #1 Thing Most Thankful For
NEW YORK, NY — In a new (and unsurprising) Quinnipiac poll, the blessing of Shep Smith no longer being on Fox News still ranks number one among what Americans are thankful for–for the fourth consecutive year. For the last 662 years, the top two things people were thankful for were: “Family” followed by: “Health”. Yet…
The Babylon Bee To Require Full Vaccinations Before Reading Articles
The Babylon Bee announced Monday that it would require all fans and Snopes fact-checkers to be “100% vaccinated” two weeks before clicking on any of their articles. “We don’t want a bunch of unclean thumbs scrolling around on our site,” CEO, Seth Dillon said. “We know our demo very well. If there was ever a bunch that…