Medical Experts Predict A Lack Of Hospital Beds In About 9 Months

Medical Experts Predict A Lack Of Hospital Beds In About 9 Months

With nearly all citizens being quarantined in their homes, doctors at the Mayo Clinic believe many married couples may engage in what the medical community calls the “hanky-panky”.   If that truth wasn’t distressing enough, subsequent research is showing that this brazen act can commonly lead to the birth of a child. This means that in…

Pete Buttigieg Quits Presidential Race To Spend More Time With His Family

Pete Buttigieg Quits Presidential Race To Spend More Time With His Family

Mayor Pete Buttigieg is ending his bid for the Democratic nomination Sunday, citing the need to spend more time with this family. After he explained this to his disappointed supporters, someone yelled, “We understand, Pete! I’m sure you miss that husband of yours!” But oddly, Buttigieg shot back, “What? Who? No. I miss my real…

Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love But Propose a 13% Tax on it Just in Case

Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love But Propose a 13% Tax on it Just in Case

Some curious news came out of Democrat circles this Valentine’s Day. Apparently, the party has reluctantly conceded that love is not capable of being taxed. However, they are proposing a 13% tax rate should that ever change. “Listen, I’m a huge believer in love, in theory,” Schumer began. “In fact, I hope someday legislation is…

Local Family’s Christmas Card Accused of Lacking Festive Spirit

Local Family’s Christmas Card Accused of Lacking Festive Spirit

The Petersons are spending the Holiday season defending themselves against accusations that their Christmas card is lacking in festive spirit. “We were going to make a card with a collage of about 5 pictures of us but we figured, why not invite everyone to see all 1,325 pictures we uploaded this year?” Deborah Peterson said.…

Pelosi to Briefly Allow Prayer Back in Schools Because She is So Saddened and Heartbroken to Impeach

Pelosi to Briefly Allow Prayer Back in Schools Because She is So Saddened and Heartbroken to Impeach

An absolutely distraught and devastated Pelosi will temporarily allow prayer back into public schools as she reluctantly impeaches President Trump. “WHY!!??!?!?” the Speaker screamed as she threw up her arms and crumbled to the floor, Wednesday morning. “This day is so solemn I cannot believe it! I’ve been praying so much to… to… umm, to…”…