NEW YORK, NY — In a new (and unsurprising) Quinnipiac poll, the blessing of Shep Smith no longer being on Fox News still ranks number one among what Americans are thankful for–for the fourth consecutive year.
For the last 662 years, the top two things people were thankful for were: “Family” followed by: “Health”. Yet many predicted a Shep-free Fox News would leapfrog into the number one position. It did.
“I really love my family, but I took this whole week off, and the fact that I never had to see that stupid, smug face on Fox was… was a real answer to prayers,” said an emotional Doug Crawford of Lansing, Michigan.
Shep Smith’s own mother was most thankful for her family. She did, however, rank her son being off the airwaves a close second.
When asked about the unflattering poll results, Shep Smith tried to deflect by reminding The Glorious American that he left the news network on his terms. Smith’s plan worked perfectly as our reporter began laughing uncontrollably and was unable to ask any follow-up questions.
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