A new study is rocking the fake doctor community, and Dr. Fauci is sounding the alarm. The study, sanctioned by the Land Rover Of Huntington Beach dealership next to the Pfizer headquarters, finds that without a never-ending stream of booster shots, pharmaceutical companies will likely not rake in a crap ton more money. “Some would say…
Category: Health
Despite Being Fully Vaccinated, Nancy Pelosi Tests Positive For Rabies Again
WASHINGTON, D.C. –A fully vaccinated Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for rabies again, a senior spokesperson confirmed Friday. The positive test came after she was found crawling on all fours around the Capitol building while foaming at the mouth. “We don’t understand how this keeps on happening,” a concerned Kevin McCarthy said. “She was placed on a…
College Student Given 68 Years To Live After Contracting New COVID Variant
WASHINGTON, DC — When famed pharmaceutical rep Anthony Fauci heard that 19-year-old Colton Lewis was walking through a Target without a mask, the salesman prepared himself to deliver a tough conversation with the young man. Colton, still at the Target store when Fauci arrived, was approached by the doctor. “Excuse me, Colton? Can you please…
Mitch McConnell Freezes For Over A Minute Trying To Remember Which Party He's In
WASHINGTON, DC – Mitch McConnell froze on live television for over a minute while struggling to remember which party he represents. This was the second time in 30 days the 102-year-old Senator displayed such political prowess. “I stand here this afternoon firmly committed to my Democr—errr, Republi… uh. Now who in the hell do I..”…
NBA Adds Additional Timeout To Allow Time For Player Heart Attacks
NEW YORK, NY — In a groundbreaking move, the NBA has announced the implementation of an extra timeout specifically designed to address the wave of mostly peaceful heart attacks their players will be having in the 2023-2024 season. Unlike traditional timeouts, a coach will be granted this stoppage of play by screaming, “HELP! WE’RE HAVING…