David French, a guest contributor, wrote the following piece: It’s been a few years since I famously called drag queen story hour a ‘blessing of liberty.’ The comment ruffled some feathers, but real conservatives like Lindsey Graham still greet me with a warm, multi-minute embrace. Therefore, I’d say that remark is aging like a fine…
Category: Health

Matt Walsh Sets World Record For Correctly Assuming 2,000 Consecutive Genders
TENNESSEE- Amateur gender knower and all-around man’s man, Matt Walsh put on perhaps his most jaw-dropping performance at the Nashville West Shopping Center this week. While waiting for his wife to leave the little-known Jeremy’s Modest Lingerie retail store, The Daily Wire host began casually assuming the genders of those passing him. Soon, people began…

White House To Impose 1-Day Lockdown On Tuesday So They Can Take Credit For All 158 Million Jobs Coming Back On Wednesday
WASHINGTON, DC—For those in need of some positive economic news, fictional president Joe Biden will mandate a lockdown of all businesses for one day starting on Tuesday. When asked, Biden said the stay-at-home order was because “The monkey pop is coming, and no one’s butt is safe.” But skeptics believe the real reason was given…

Checkmate: Make-A-Wish Child Wishes Democrats Won’t Steal 2024 Election
FAYETTEVILLE, AR— The betting markets now have Donald Trump as the overwhelming favorite to win the 2024 election after a 7-year-old in Northwest Arkansas used his Make-A-Wish request to prohibit the Democrats from cheating in the swing states. Per the Geneva Conventions, the charity is mandated to deliver the young boy’s dream. Jacob Parker, who…

Joe Biden Offers To Hold Down Any Child Who Tries To Resist Vaccine Shot
WASHINGTON, DC– Fictional President Joe Biden has graciously offered to hold down any children who might get a little squirmy during their vaccine shot. During a Thursday COVID press conference, Dr. Fauci addressed concerns about the new vaccine. He mentioned that the hair growing on people’s palms is “probably normal,” and all children should…