PHILADELPHIA, PA— When it comes to elections, the FBI doesn’t like to get involved if the Democrat has it in the bag. But every so often, a progressive candidate takes one too many boosters, and their brain explodes. That’s what happened with John Fetterman, causing the FBI to step in to write his stump speech.…
Category: Health
Abrams: ‘There Is No Such Thing As A 6-Piece Nugget Meal. It’s Manufactured To Dupe People Away From 40-Piece’
ATLANTA, GA — The six-piece chicken nugget meal is actually a hoax perpetrated by powerful men running the fast food industry Stacey Abrams claimed earlier this week. The popular Georgia Democrat explained that a six-piece meal is an “elaborate distraction” from the more sensible forty-piece. “No such thing. My question to the six-piece-truthers is, how…
College Student Given 68 Years To Live After Contracting New COVID Variant
WASHINGTON, DC — When famed pharmaceutical rep Anthony Fauci heard that 19-year-old Colton Lewis was walking through a Target without a mask, the salesman prepared himself to deliver a tough conversation with the young man. Colton, still at the Target store when Fauci arrived, was approached by the doctor. “Excuse me, Colton? Can you please…
Jill Biden Signs Executive Order Legalizing Elder Abuse
WASHINGTON, DC — On Monday, Jill Biden placed her foot on the lower back of her husband and forcefully shoved him to the ground. Then she demanded a White House staffer hand her a pen. The cap was stuck tightly at first, but nevertheless, she persisted. Moments later, she had signed a groundbreaking executive order that officially…
CDC Labels Marvin Gaye’s ‘Sexual Healing’ Medical Misinformation
ATLANTA, GA– This time, Marvin Gaye went too far in 1982, the CDC announced Sunday. The provocative songwriter is being canceled for falsely claiming something called ‘sexual healing’ helps relieves one’s mind, body and even cures a feeling of being ‘hot just like an oven’ –the classic symptoms of COVID-19. “Sexual healing is not better than…