WASHINGTON, DC—It looks like America may have seen the last of ol’ Joe for a while. Jill Biden announced Thursday that, in a totally normal strategic move, she has decided to place her husband under a medically induced coma until moments after the 2024 election is fortified.
The decision came after Biden agreed to appear on MSNBC’s Morning Joe. Sadly, the President only agreed to appear on the show because he was under the impression that the title of the show would be the only topic.
“Yeah, well good morning to you too,” A cheerful Biden said to Scarborough. “Welp, I’ll see ya later,” the president said standing up while taking off his microphone. However, to his surprise, he was asked to re-take his seat and provide twenty straight minutes of detailed policy proposals.
The interview went to badly, top Democrats knew it was time to put him down.
“We knew it was time to place Joe under a coma when he turned to his wife and yelled, ‘HOW’D MY SISTER GET IN HERE?’” a top Democrat donor told the Glorious American.
Some Democrats have been critical of the decision, believing the “Sleepy Joe” narrative will play right into Republican’s hands. However, when these same cynics were asked if they felt Biden should be conscious and free to speak his mind for the remainder of his term, many of them screamed, ‘[expletive] no!’
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