NEW ORLEANS, LA — Forbidden from attending the Super Bowl, DC elites made arrangements to send Hunter Biden to the next best thing. The Animal Planet’s pre-recorded Puppy Bowl game. The charm of Puppy Bowl 2025 was quickly sucked out of the studio when a plastered Hunter Biden crashed his Audi into the side of…
Category: Biden
Doctors: 'Biden Achieved Great Work-Life Balance By Barely Working And Barely Living'
WILMINGTON, DE – Maintaining a good work-life balance is essential. And credit where credit’s due, Joe Biden is ending his fictional Presidency, having struck an admirable equilibrium between the two. “I’ve practiced medicine for over thirty years, and I can barely detect a life,” a White House doctor said of Biden. “And when you juxtapose…
Hunter Biden Breaks Silence on Andrew Tate: 'He Should Live A Pure Life And Respect The Laws'
MALIBU, CA – Expert sex trafficker and lawbreaking enthusiast Hunter Biden has weighed in on the controversy surrounding Andrew Tate. Tate, who has defied numerous demands from the WEF to become a sniveling little bata male, was taken into custody for testing ten times the legal limit of not giving an eff. Thankfully, Hunter is…
Nation Begs Biden To Stop Awarding Young Girls With ‘Looks Like She’s 19-Years-Old’ Medals
WASHINGTON, DC — As fictional President Joe Biden begins fading away like a terrifying nightmare, he is facing political pressure to stop spotting little girls in crowds and awarding them with his custom ‘Looks Like She’s 19-Years-Old’ medals. The latest incident occurred on Tuesday when Biden found a 10-year-old and awkwardly broke from his prepared remarks. “So…
Biden’s New Years Resolution Of Not Giving Kamala Shoulder Massages Lasts 9 Minutes
WASHINGTON, DC — Joe Biden’s very public New Year’s Resolution of refraining from sneaking up behind Kamala Harris and massaging her shoulders has ended after nine grueling minutes. “He gave it a tremendous effort, and I think we’re all impressed with how long he was able to last,” Karine Jean-Pierre told the press. “I think…