WASHINGTON, DC — For decades, the little-known tradition of Joe Biden sniffing pumpkin spice-scented children has been how Washington residents know fall is here. So, on Tuesday, the White House staff returned to normalcy by throwing all the kids who smelled like ‘summer beach’ out the back door to make room for the festive fall…
Category: Biden
FBI Accidentally Grants Trump Immunity From Everything After He Buys One Of Hunter’s Paintings
Mar-a-Lago, FL— It was a simple plan. In fact, many were surprised it wasn’t thought of sooner. Everyone knew Hunter Biden was selling his paintings in exchange for the DOJ and FBI to look the other way on horrifying crimes. And while Donald Trump doesn’t have any crimes to worry about, he is lousy with…
Kamala Harris Cancels Joe Biden’s Class On ‘Becoming An Alpha Male’ Again
WASHINGTON, DC – If you were planning on attending former president Joe Biden’s ‘Becoming an Alpha Male’ course, it looks like you’ll have to reschedule again. For the sixth time this month, Kamala Harris has put the kibosh on the class. “Nope. Not happening today, Joe. Too many birds out,” Harris informed her boss. “And…
Joe Biden Lands Endorsement Deal With Little-Known 4-Minute Energy
WASHINGTON, DC — In a play to prove he’s anything but “Sleepy Joe,” Joe Biden has signed an endorsement deal with 4-Minute Energy. Not only will the fictional president have an extra $2,000 in his pocket, but he is also planning on bringing a 50-pack to his next public appearance so he can let Donald…
Hunter Biden Begins Doing Cocaine, Hookers On Slightly Sloped Roof To Evade Attention From Law Enforcement
WILMINGTON, DE—The Bidens, known for their wisdom and class, have discovered another way to commit a bunch more heinous crimes. Last weekend’s events forced the FBI and Secret Service to admit they had a crippling fear of surfaces that are not perfectly level. “It is true that any and all criminal acts can take…