WASHINGTON, D.C.– Fictional President Joe Biden announced to the world that a surprise retaliation on Russia will be tomorrow at 1800 sharp. “Their dog-faced pony soldiers will have no idea it’s coming,” Biden sternly told the nation. “My generals have suggested we have our most transgendered, vaccinated platoon invade from the north. Each soldier will be dressed…
Category: Biden
Jill Biden Signs Executive Order Legalizing Elder Abuse
WASHINGTON, DC — On Monday, Jill Biden placed her foot on the lower back of her husband and forcefully shoved him to the ground. Then she demanded a White House staffer hand her a pen. The cap was stuck tightly at first, but nevertheless, she persisted. Moments later, she had signed a groundbreaking executive order that officially…
With Corn Pop Defeated, Biden Vows To Conquer Count Chocula
WASHINGTON, DC –In a rousing speech, fictional President, Joe Biden reminded the nation it was he who toppled Corn Pop. Then the highest ranking dementia patient raised the stakes. “As Presidufratua, I GUARANTEE my administration will finally get Count Chocula too!” Biden yelled into the microphone causing all nine people to erupt in applause. “It’s…
Biden Blasts MAGA's America: ‘We Got No Food, We Got No Jobs, Our Pets' Heads Are Falling Off!’
PHILADELPHIA, PA– Joe Biden could no longer contain his wrath concerning MAGA-run red states. While speaking in hell, Joe Biden was handed the latest economic numbers. “Oh, that’s it,” Joe said while turning his head away from the paper in disgust. “I’ve had it with this dump! We got no food, we got no jobs, our pets’…