CHICAGO, IL— As Fictional President Joe Biden makes his way through Democrat-run cities, he has repeatedly been heard screaming, “I don’t need a ride, I need ammo!” as mobs of criminals chase him. In a recent visit to Chicago to congratulate Lori Lightfoot on its big surgery, Joe wandered off to look for ice cream…
Category: Biden
'Wow, Those Borders Sure Look Secure' Biden Whispers Watching Jurassic Park
WASHINGTON, DC. –As word from the Costa Rica Government continues to detail the herd of bloodthirsty dinosaurs rampaging through Jurassic Park, the Biden administration still refuses to call it a crisis. “We’ve seen the reports, and we’ll continue to monitor the situation, but that theme park is still a beacon of safety and security,” Karine…
‘F–k Joe Biden’ Chant Breaks Out At Biden Dinner Table
DELAWARE–On Wednesday, the popular ‘F–k Joe Biden’ chant that has rocked football stadiums around the nation finally came to the fictional President’s dinner table. Momentum for the graphic chant picked up steam when the dinner conversation drifted towards Joe Biden’s job approval. “Man, what haven’t you f–ked up, pops?!” Hunter yelled, bouncing a biscuit off…
Guy Who Pulled All The Wires Out During Forest Gump’s Speech Added To Biden Staff
WASHINGTON, DC — In what’s considered their best hire yet, the Biden White House has nabbed the guy famous for yanking all the wires out during Forest Gump’s Washington Monument speech. “This guy was hired to get fistfuls of wires and go-to-town. Every time the president speaks,” an official said. “We’re willing to pay him…
Joe Biden Gives Staff 16 Hiding Places They Shouldn’t Look For Him During Hide-And-Seek Game
WASHINGTON, DC — Since Donald Trump left the White House, it’s been a long-standing tradition for the President and his college-aged staffers to play hide-and-seek on Thursdays. Sadly for Joe Biden, he is usually found immediately as he always hides his frail body under a small area rug. But now, he’s using the same brilliant negotiation tactics…