Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’

Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’

SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola, LaTinks, and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…

‘Bring Me This Genius,’ Biden Whispers To Staff While Watching Elf

‘Bring Me This Genius,’ Biden Whispers To Staff While Watching Elf

WASHINGTON, DC — Thinking he was watching CNN, Joe Biden found himself watching the 2003 Christmas classic Elf.  The fictional president instantly became enamored with the movie’s star, Buddy the elf.     “Jean-Pierre! Come quick!  CNN’s done it again!  They’ve found perhaps the world’s most distinguished statesman,” he yelled to his press secretary.  As they…