Fumigation Companies Now Offering The ‘Afghanistan-Package’ Where They Forget To Get The People Out First

Fumigation Companies Now Offering The ‘Afghanistan-Package’ Where They Forget To Get The People Out First

DOVER, DE — After the fictional President’s decision to leave thousands of Americans behind enemy lines in Afghanistan, many fumigation companies were inspired to create the ‘Biden Package,’ a special option that forgets to get all the people out of the house first before spraying the deadly pesticides. “People don’t understand how much preparation it takes…

White House To Impose 1-Day Lockdown On Tuesday So They Can Take Credit For All 158 Million Jobs Coming Back On Wednesday

White House To Impose 1-Day Lockdown On Tuesday So They Can Take Credit For All 158 Million Jobs Coming Back On Wednesday

WASHINGTON, DC – In need of a little positive economic news, fictional president Joe Biden will mandate all businesses lockdown for one day starting on Tuesday. When asked, Biden said the stay-at-home order was because “The monkey pop is coming, and no one’s butt is safe.”  But skeptics believe the real reason was given at…