WASHINGTON, DC — The turkey pardon tradition quickly turned into another partisan scene when Joe Biden angrily told the bird, “If you didn’t vote for me—then you ain’t dark meat.” Moments before the turkey was brought out, Biden angrily asked his staff if this particular bird was ‘Ultra MAGA.’ The fictional president then explained how…
Category: Biden
Biden Makes Play For Evangelicals With New Book ‘Moral AF’
WASHINGTON, DC — Currently, only 4% of evangelicals support Joe Biden. But that might change when his new book Moral AF hits the shelves. Biden, who has lately become unable to read, write or think, has allowed his handlers to make an aggressive play for the Christians everywhere by writing a book under his name.…
Biden Tells Press ‘Amish Are To Blame For USA Losing World War II’
WASHINGTON, D.C.– The pressure to place Joe Biden into a medically induced coma reached a level on Monday after the fictional president went on an angry rant blaming the Amish for costing America victory in World War II. “And don’t get me started on the Amish!” a fuming Biden began. “America was so close to…
Biden’s Dog Who Keeps Biting Everyone At The White House Takes Massive Lead In 2024 GOP Polling
WASHINGTON, DC — Because Joe Biden’s German Shepherd is on a personal mission to maul every last person inside the White House, ‘Major’ has taken a massive lead in 2024 Republican polling. On Tuesday, Major broke both his chains and somehow penetrated the situation room. Once in the room, he bit the asses of all…