WASHINGTON, D.C. — A little-known, and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has convinced the president to address psychotomimetic trichotillomania, a rare and psychotic desire to pull out one’s hair. “Listen, Joe. A lotta people are saying you should be talking about psychotomimetic trichotillomania, ok? Frankly, if I’m honest, you’ve sorta choked with the whole economy,…
Category: Trump
Little-Known Biden Staffer Finds ‘Big, Beautiful‘ Area To Hold Overflow Migrants
WASHINGTON, D.C.–A little-known and devastatingly handsome Biden staffer has given the administration a brilliant solution for their overcrowded migrant situation. “You see this big, beautiful area down here? A lotta people are saying this is the perfect place for Mexicans,” he said pointing to the country just below the United States of America. “Call up…
MADNESS: Trump University Destroys Crooked Hill College 145-44
BUFFALO, NY–Trump University easily beat Crooked Hill College Saturday night and has advanced to play Dominion Tech in the NCAA tournament. “I told these players if they joined our great school they’d eventually get tired of winning, and that’s exactly what’s happening,” President Donald Trump said following the game. Crooked Hill entered the game wearing…
Trump: ‘I Would Send Dr. Fauci To Jail, But Only For 15 Days'
Holding both hands in front of himself as if he were making a beautiful vase on a pottery wheel, President Donald Trump told a packed Georgia stadium what he believes should happen to Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Dr. Fauci. Now there’s a beaut. We all know he’s not a very smart doctor. Not a smart cookie–a dumb cookie. It’s called…he’s…
Biden Accidentally Grants Trump Immunity From Everything After He Buys One Of Hunter’s Paintings
It was a simple plan. In fact, many were surprised it wasn’t thought of sooner. Everyone knew Hunter Biden was selling his paintings in exchange for the DOJ and FBI to look the other way on horrifying crimes. And while Donald Trump doesn’t have any crimes to worry about, he is lousy with federal harassment.…