Mar-a-Lago, FL— It was a simple plan. In fact, many were surprised it wasn’t thought of sooner. Everyone knew Hunter Biden was selling his paintings in exchange for the DOJ and FBI to look the other way on horrifying crimes. And while Donald Trump doesn’t have any crimes to worry about, he is lousy with…
Category: Trump
Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era Retail Price' In Record-Breaking Sale
MEDFORD, OR—Mattress shoppers at Southern Oregon’s Quality Sleep miss the low prices they enjoyed during Donald Trump’s presidency. So, owners Dale and Grant brought them back. “I remember in 2019, we had lines. And not the kind of ‘lines’ Hunter Biden likes, I’m talking about lines out the door,” Dale said. “But now, under Biden, a pillow costs as…
Joe Biden Demands To Know Who Raised The Political Temperature Against 'Hitler-Like' Trump
WASHINGTON, DC — Fictional President Joe Biden has demanded the launch of a full-scale investigation to learn who raised the political temperature against “Russian Prime Minister Kamala Harris.” His team later clarified he meant former President Donald Trump. However, the details of his statement raised eyebrows. “Listen, Jack. I want a full report that explains…
Health Update: Trump Back To Doing Push-ups With The Clap In The Middle
PALM BEACH, FL—America is rejoicing after hearing the news that Donald Trump, despite nearly being killed over the weekend, has fully regained his ability to do two hundred consecutive push-ups with the clap in the middle. The media, many of whom were praying his injured ear would result in some type of fatal infection, was…
Shock Poll: Trump Leads Big With People Who Just Got Their Ass Beat By Violent Criminals
ATLANTA, GA – According to a recent Trafalgar poll, when people believe a mob of violent criminals spots them and starts following them down the street, they choose Trump over Biden by a margin of 91 points. Then Trump’s lead widens to 99 points when the mob reaches for their lead pipes and baseball bats. …