According to a recent Trafalgar poll, when people believe a mob of Black Lives Matter activists spots them and start following them down the street, they choose Trump over Biden by a margin of 91 points. Then Trump’s lead widens to 99 points when the BLM member(s) reach for their lead pipes and baseball bats. …
Category: Trump
‘I’ll Handle This!’ Ray Epps Yells After His Favorite President’s Home Gets Raided By FBI
WASHINGTON, DC— On behalf of all Republicans, legitimate Trump supporter, Ray Epps has offered to charge the FBI offices in a rage-filled act of revenge. “Don’t worry! I’ll handle this, you guys! Tomorrow, I’ll go INTO the offices and fix this!” he yelled to several random guys. “I’ll go because I’ve got a reserved parking…
Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’
SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon, Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola LaTinks and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…
Democrats Pretty Sure President Trump is the Reason Why Their Fathers Didn’t Love Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Sunday, House Democrats stealthy added the following edit to one of Donald Trump’s articles of impeachment: “Failure to make our daddies love us.” When members of the media noticed this surprising addition, Pelosi reluctantly elaborated. “Well, it’s a completely undisputed fact,” the Speaker began. “When I was sitting across from the…
Evidence Of Trump-Led Killer Bear Army At Capitol May Have Been Doctored
WASHINGTON, DC — House Democrats are being pressured to withdraw evidence in their case against Donald Trump after claims of his MAGA hat-wearing army of killer bears became disputed. The bears, impeachment manager Jamie Raskin explained, had been trained by Trump to attack anyone who supports mail-in voting and all lightweight losers. “Just look at this picture…