NEW YORK, NY — Many are starting to get the idea that The New York Times does not treat Donald Trump fairly after the newspaper accidentally forgot to fill in its front-page template. On Wednesday morning, the few dozen people who still subscribe to the Times received a headline reading: [think of the worst thing…
Category: Trump
Suburban Woman Narrowly Avoids Getting Murdered On Way To Tell Pollster Trump’s Not Nice
On Thursday, Michigan housewife Janet McKarenson narrowly dodged gunfire on her way to tell a pollster that she feels President Trump’s tweeting is dangerous. Democrat Governor Gretchen Whitmer recently released all the criminals from prison on a special program she calls “Seventh Chance Sweetheart.” An initiative that assumes hardened murderers probably won’t kill for the…
McDonald's Reminds President Trump To Stop Taking Air Force One Through Drive-Thru
HIGH POINT, NC – While returning to DC from a Charlotte-area manufacturing plant, President Trump and staff took Air Force One through a local McDonald’s drive-thru again. “Ok. Let’s get the whole crew number fours!” Trump was heard yelling over the sound of the jet engine. While this particular North Carolina restaurant eventually served the…
Trump Appoints The Charmin Bears To Wipe Up Mess In Dem-Run States
WASHINGTON, DC — Donald Trump has appointed the Charmin Bears to run the Department of Environmental Protection Agency and, in particular, to wipe up the mess in deep blue states have made. The President’s reasoning for the appointment was simple; “Have you seen those bears clean?” Trump said in the press conference. “I mean, if…
Trump Discovers Two More States Off Texas Shore, Four GOP Senators To Be Added Soon
TEXAS – President Donald Trump has made an astonishing discovery while visiting a manufacturing plant near Corpus Christi, TX. “Hold it. I need a Diet Coke and an old-timey telescope. Right away!” Trump abruptly yelled into the microphone. “I think I see what some would say…an opportunity.” After a few seconds of holding the telescope…