SAN FRANCISCO, CA – It appears Donald Trump has gone too far again after reports surfaced that Paul Pelosi got pounded by his gay lover’s hammer. Paul’s boyfriend and popular bay area nudist, David DePape, also struck the speaker’s husband with a tool, reports confirm. When police arrived on the scene, the two homosexuals were…
Category: Trump

Oops: New York Times Forgets To Fill In Template Before Print
NEW YORK, NY — Some are starting to get the idea that The New York Times has not been fair to Donald Trump after the newspaper accidentally forgot to fill in its front-page template. The few dozen of people who still subscribe to the Times received a headline reading: [think of the worst thing and…

Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era’ Retail Price In Record-Breaking Sale
MEDFORD, OR – Mattress shoppers at Southern Oregon’s Quality Sleep miss the low prices they enjoyed during the Donald Trump presidency. So owners Dale and Grant brought them back. “I remember in 2019 we had lines. And not the Hunter Biden kind, I’m talking about lines out the door,” Dale said. “But now, under Biden, a pillow…

Shock Poll: Trump Leads Big With People Who Just Got Their Ass Beat By BLM
According to a recent Trafalgar poll, when people believe a mob of Black Lives Matter activists spots them and start following them down the street, they choose Trump over Biden by a margin of 91 points. Then Trump’s lead widens to 99 points when the BLM member(s) reach for their lead pipes and baseball bats. …

‘I’ll Handle This!’ Ray Epps Yells After His Favorite President’s Home Gets Raided By FBI
WASHINGTON, DC— On behalf of all Republicans, legitimate Trump supporter, Ray Epps has offered to charge the FBI offices in a rage-filled act of revenge. “Don’t worry! I’ll handle this, you guys! Tomorrow, I’ll go INTO the offices and fix this!” he yelled to several random guys. “I’ll go because I’ve got a reserved parking…