After confirming with Dr. Birx, it’s official. The entire Democrat party and its members have reached herd immunity against common decency. This achievement had been close for months but wasn’t official until last week. “When Obama thought John Lewis’ funeral was a good place to argue against keeping the filibuster,” Birx said. “That’s when I…
Category: Studies & Science
CNN: As Tucker Carlson’s Ratings Continue To Climb, So Do Odds That He Committed Sexual Assault
An interesting correlation was noticed by CNN on Monday regarding Tucker Carlson. In their fascinating study, it seems the higher the Fox News star’s ratings climb, so do the odds that he committed horrifying sexual assaults. “The data speaks for itself,” CNN’s Brian Seltzer said holding up an Applebee’s menu, hoping people would assume it…
Dr. Fauci Throwing Baseball Deemed Twice As Deadly As COVID-19
Much like every proclamation he made about the coronavirus, Dr. Anthony Fauci probably wants a do-over with his Nats-Yankees first pitch. The CDC has now deemed the pitch, which killed two and injured four, twice as deadly as the novel coronavirus. They also mentioned they weren’t surprised he threw to the far left. “I was trying to take…
Teachers Unions: School Permanently Cancelled After Wolf Attacks Spike To .0002%
Safety comes first. And teachers are not safe if they’re being mauled by wolves while trying to explain long division to 7th graders. This common sense is why teachers’ unions across America have decided to permanently cancel school after a report shows wolf attacks soar to .0002%. The horrifying and surprisingly brief report is as…
