A new study has revealed the epidemic of toxic masculinity sweeping the nation began with none other than the 1978 hit game Hungry, Hungry Hippos. Created by Milton Bradley, this game pits friends and family against each other in a brutal, winner-take-all battle. Each player must fill their spring loaded hippopotamus with pure rage and…
Category: Studies & Science
Gavin Newsom Traces All State’s Problems Back to 1860s Republican Settler
On Tuesday a frantic Governor Gavin Newsom called an emergency meeting with his Democrat staff and the media. Thank goodness they’re mostly the same people. “Come quick, everyone! I’ve just learned!” an out-of-breath Newsom said waving the press members into the conference room like a third-base coach. “I know many Californians are feeling our state’s…
Pelosi: '$600 Stimulus Checks Can Buy Up To Three Gourmet Ice Creams’
Do you remember when the government forbid you from earning a living during the last ten months? Well, it looks like help is on the way. Yes, your bank account will soon say $600.21 after congress recently approved a $32 Trillion stimulus package, of which 4% will go to struggling Americans. To explain just how…
Bill Barr Informs Country That It's Been ‘One Million’ Days Since a Democrat Broke A Law
AG Bill Barr surprised the entire nation on Monday when he announced that it has been ‘one million days’ since a Democrat broke a law. “As our corporate media has been telling us, the incredible streak of lawfulness by the honorable Democrat party continues,” Barr said pointing to his handy poster board showing the proof. …
Nate Silver Demands The News Stop Playing Laugh Tracks After Citing His Polls
Nate Silver has formally asked all the news shows to stop citing his polls and then immediately playing audio of people laughing. “My polls are not some joke on a sitcom! They’re serious!” Silver screamed to CNN producers. “Nine of ten people believe I’m super smart and capable!” Silver founded FiveThirtyEight polling company prior to…
