VANCOUVER, WA–Historians from the University of Portland have uncovered an original hand sanitizer bottle that belonged to the famously risk-averse duo, Lewis and Clark. Facemasks, rape whistles, and even the skeleton of a small emotional support dog were also discovered along the Columbia River banks. “Back then you were allowed to take off your mask…

Last week, AOC reminded us that when a more powerful and dominating conservative challenges her wisdom, it’s simply because he wants to date her. Did you know this sort of thing also happens in the wild? Let’s take a look at some photos showing the more capable predator trying to date the weak: 10. This…

Just one in one million humpback whales are completely white, and marine scientists were thrilled to spot one in the East Bay near Oakland on Wednesday.  Naturally, a member of the Oakland BLM chapter shot the whale directly in the blowhole the moment it breached the surface.  Many believed the researchers provoked the shooting after…

NEW YORK, NY–With Trump out of the limelight, MSNBC executives felt their few remaining viewers needed ultra-compelling content.  Therefore, the network aired a three-part series on ‘Egguity.’ A new social injustice facing eggs everywhere.   The key findings of the report are as follows:  White eggs are more likely to receive the AA grade than brown…

New documents from the NIH reveal that once Dr. Anthony Fauci realized he had no idea how to kill COVID, he tried his hand at killing puppies. Soon the phrase #FauciKillsDoggieStyle began trending on Twitter and the wise and noble doctor was forced to defend himself. “Listen, I’m a warm and relatable man. Therefore, I understand that…