Feds Warn More Eerie UFO News Could Drop If Further Biden Crimes Exposed

Feds Warn More Eerie UFO News Could Drop If Further Biden Crimes Exposed

WASHINGTON, DC – Federal officials acknowledge a mysterious link between whistleblowers proving Joe Biden’s crimes and UFO sightings, John Kirby informed Monday. Kirby, famous for making a super-serious face to compensate for his ridiculous last name, grew frustrated at the press for overlooking the recent other-worldly sightings.   “Sir, we have 4K footage of a father/son…

Discovery Channel To Replace Shark Week With Much Bloodier 'Hillary Week'

Discovery Channel To Replace Shark Week With Much Bloodier 'Hillary Week'

33 years ago, The Discovery Channel debuted Shark Week, a weeklong set of programming showcasing the captivating deep-sea hunters. But in a stunning announcement on Thursday, Shark Week is being replaced with Hillary Week. “Listen, people are fascinated by sharks because of the danger they pose,” Director of Programming, Nathan Kavanaugh, told The Glorious American.…

NASA's Mars Rover Finds First Microaggression On Red Planet

NASA's Mars Rover Finds First Microaggression On Red Planet

HOUSTON, TX–On Monday afternoon, the hundreds of Apollo Mission Control employees erupted with excitement when the Mars Rover discovered the first microaggressions on the distant planet. It’s been well documented that planet Earth had run bone-dry of new aggressions–even the microscopic ones. Because the fate of the Democrat party relies on this precious source of energy,…