OAK PARK, IL — After twenty-one years at FOX 32 Chicago, beloved anchorman Herb Swanson has decided to call it quits after opting to die from being shot over a dozen times by a local gang. FOX 32, which is heavily subsidized by the state of Illinois, is frequently accused of slanting stories to favor…
Category: Media & Tech
New York Times: ‘Sure Biden Committed Treason, But Remember His Son Died?’
WASHINGTON, DC – “Amid a whirlwind of evidence piling up against the President, we’re learning that Joe Biden may have committed some ‘light treason.’ But remember his son Beau died? So who are we, a simple news outlet, to report on his international felonies? That would be gross.” That was the first and only paragraph…
Fox News Hires Consultant LeBron James To Help Fix Rating Problems
NEW YORK, NY — After Fox News fired their wildly popular primetime host, Tucker Carlson, few could have predicted Americans would stop watching the channel. Thankfully, star basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate LeBron James has graciously offered to help FNC with its newest rating disaster. “I’ve seen this before,” James said, walking to…
San Diego News Team Distances Themselves From ‘Inappropriate’ Don Lemon
SAN DIEGO, CA – Don Lemon is acting inappropriately, and Ron Burgundy’s news team will not tolerate it. The four lead anchors of San Diego’s Channel 4 News are distancing themselves after Lemon remarked that all women should come with an expiration date like milk, ‘so society knows when to throw them out.’ “Son of…
Embarrassing: Ben Shapiro Goes All Day With His White Privilege Hanging Out
South Florida– Onlookers near Ben Shapiro couldn’t help but notice the podcast host’s white privilege was completely exposed all Saturday afternoon. “I know being controversial is ‘his thing,’ but this was just horrifying,” a concerned Democrat mother of three said. “But it was just all hanging out. Totally brazen. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Most of…