ATLANTA, GA — Last night, thousands of violent protestors tried to storm the CNN headquarters in Atlanta. For hours, law enforcement was able to hold them off. That was until long-time CNN anchor Anderson Cooper instinctively joined the fray. Minutes before leaping into action, Cooper was on-air dutifully reporting how loving and tranquil the protestors…
Category: Media & Tech
Vaccine Recipients Uneasy About Small Wire Leading To Bill Gates' House
MEDINA, WA — Many vaccine recipients have noticed a small wire connected to their arm from where the shot was administered. Even more peculiar, the wire leads into Bill Gates’ Seattle mansion. “Is this normal?” a concerned 67-year-old Helen Philips asked her nurse about the two thousand-mile-long blue wire. “Oh, here we go again. Another…
CNN fills 1 pm Slot With 'Good Morning Antifa'
ATLANTA, GA – Because over 90% of the Democrat party now identifies as criminally insane, CNN will soon debut “Good Morning Antifa” in an effort to earn their viewership. “CNN has always been a long-time supporter of Antifa,” President Chris Licht explained. “Even back when they called themselves the Ku K—err, when they were called…
Long-Time FOX 32 Chicago Anchor Calls It Quits After Gang Members Shoot Him 13 Times
OAK PARK, IL — After twenty-one years at FOX 32 Chicago, beloved anchorman Herb Swanson has decided to call it quits after opting to die from being shot over a dozen times by a local gang. FOX 32, which is heavily subsidized by the state of Illinois, is frequently accused of slanting stories to favor…
