Tallahassee, FL: Tuesday marked another embarrassing moment for team DeSantis when the campaign mistakenly booked the presidential hopeful on the long-defunct Charles Krauthammer Podcast. Initially, DeSantis, the target of dozens of media outlets, was unsure which personality was interviewing him. The awkward silence began immediately, but Ron did his best. “I… I can tell my candidacy…
Category: Media & Tech

Jordan Peterson Convinces Yelp To Make ‘It Was Pure Hell’ Option
TORONTO — Jordan Peterson, renowned psychologist, and lobster enthusiast, has been pleading with Yelp.com for years to improve its business review options, and it appears that he has finally gotten his wish. “For years, I’ve told the folks at Yelp their buttons are NOT helpful,” Peterson said. “They claim to want honest reviews, but it’s…

‘Stop Being A Conspiracy Theorist’ Whispers NSA Agent From Inside Tucker Carlson's Home
MAINE — Last year, when Tucker Carlson and his staff were privately discussing what to order for lunch, the NSA used a nearby Alexa device to encourage them to avoid hamburgers because red meat is harmful to the environment. Later that night, when Tucker recounted the story to his wife, an NSA agent disguised as a…

Fox News Begins Just Filming CNN On Breakroom TV
NEW YORK, NY — Since firing Tucker Carlson, the great Fox News Channel has opted just to film the TV in their break room showing CNN. The new programming came shortly after the network saw its prime-time audience plummet to a tier industry insiders call ‘pure donkey s***’ or ‘WNBA levels.’ After the first evening…

CNN: Anthony Weiner To Replaced Don Lemon
ATLANTA, GA — CNN’s 40-year streak of being honorable and trustworthy ended this weekend when the network announced Don Lemon had been fired for repeatedly being a complete retard–something he had been warned about for 17 years while at the network. Thankfully, the always-classy Anthony Weiner has agreed to anchor the 9 PM hour. “You…