NEW YORK, NY–Fox host, Dana Perino says her upcoming book, Democrats Are The Stupidest Pack Of Morons Imaginable: A Guide To Restoring A Divided Nation is designed to help land ‘an irreparable punch directly to the balls’ of Democrats everywhere. “I wanted to write a sweet, loving book about how to get along with one another,…
Category: Media & Tech

Biden Tweet So Puzzling Musk Team Forced To Revisit Free Speech Stance
SAN FRANCISCO, CA– Well, that didn’t last long. Elon Musk and his new Twitter team have been stumped so badly by Joe Biden, that they’ve been forced to revisit their stance on free speech. White House staff accidentally left the fictional president near a phone and he tweeted something about his leg hair, Cornpop, and…

Joy Reid Worried An Unregulated Twitter Could Get As Nasty As Her Old Blog
MANHATTAN, NY–After coastal elites specifically told him not to, Elon Musk purchased Twitter on Monday. The shocking news has MSNBC mega-star, Joy Reid worried an unchecked Twitter could devolve to look like her old blog. “Do you remember those blog hackers who made me write every night from 2003 to 2011? Ya know, Back In That Closet,…

SeaWorld Cancels Orca Show, Daily Wire Immediately Hires Shamu
NASHVILLE, TN–The Daily Wire’s habit of hiring anyone who gets canceled continued Wednesday when founder Jeremy Boreing signed Shamu after SeaWorld said they’d be ending their orca show. The whale’s firing came after a multi-year legal battle centered around Black Lives Matter claiming the animal was black, while the state of Utah argued it was…

Uh-Oh. CNN+ Viewership Gets So Low, Jeffrey Toobin Thinks He's All Alone In Studio
ATLANTA, GA— On Thursday, a shaken up CNN+ intern was seen writing a large zero on a sign that read “Days since Jeffrey Toobin accidentally masturbated to an unsuspecting audience.” Yes, it was a horribly graphic night after Lubin’ Toobin’ (as he’s referred to in the industry) felt as if he was all alone due…