MEDINA, WA — Many vaccine recipients have noticed a small wire connected to their arm from where the shot was administered. Even more peculiar, the wire leads into Bill Gates’ Seattle mansion. “Is this normal?” a concerned 67-year-old Helen Philips asked her nurse about the two thousand-mile-long blue wire. “Oh, here we go again. Another…
Category: Media & Tech
CNN fills 1 pm Slot With 'Good Morning Antifa'
ATLANTA, GA – Because over 90% of the Democrat party now identifies as criminally insane, CNN will soon debut “Good Morning Antifa” in an effort to earn their viewership. “CNN has always been a long-time supporter of Antifa,” President Chris Licht explained. “Even back when they called themselves the Ku K—err, when they were called…
Long-Time FOX 32 Chicago Anchor Calls It Quits After Gang Members Shoot Him 13 Times
OAK PARK, IL — After twenty-one years at FOX 32 Chicago, beloved anchorman Herb Swanson has decided to call it quits after opting to die from being shot over a dozen times by a local gang. FOX 32, which is heavily subsidized by the state of Illinois, is frequently accused of slanting stories to favor…
America Turns To CNN On Night Where Goal Is To Drop The Ball
NEW YORK–CNN’s New Year’s special titled “2022: That Oughta Do It!” was dedicated to the network’s amazing progress towards destroying the nation. And because CNN has become ground zero for people dropping the ball, they actually trounced all the other broadcasts in the ratings. In fact, the network had become so accustomed to only reaching a few…