MANHATTAN, NY— Months ago, Joe Rogan told his audience to “vote Republican,” a crime punishable by over ten years in prison by the FCC. This has made Howard Stern, who has always loved and respected the FCC, very unhappy.
“This Rogan guy, I’m not sure he’s a good boy. He strikes me as somewhat of a rebel. And this show doesn’t tolerate that,” Stern said on Tuesday’s broadcast. “The other day he questioned CNN’s credibility simply because they were caught lying about everything for nine years. How dare Joe Rogan broadcast such inappropriate things!”
Shortly thereafter, Howard accidentally called Robin Quivers the N-word again, and he opened up the phone lines to distract from his mistake.
“Ya know what? I demand someone call in and name a more vulgar and shocking radio personality!” Stern yelled.
“I can’t, Howard. Rogan is uniquely troubling,” Bobby from Phoenix said before complimenting Howard’s twelfth annual ‘Special Needs Beauty Pageant’.
“Thank you, John. That was a real hoot. But wait until you see what’s in store for Wednesday,” Stern teased. “We’ll be ranking all the STDs from most funny to most deadly. But remember, we want all listeners to be fully vaccinated and boosted before listening to that bit.”
Update: All the talk about such a free spirit like Rogan made Stern’s audience very frightened, and the two remaining hours were filled with lullabies to calm them down.
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