WASHINGTON, DC — Fictional President Joe Biden, bitter that Donald Trump brought too many pesky manufacturing jobs back to America, has announced a killer Cyber Monday deal for Xi Jinping. In a press release titled ‘Make America Second Rate Again’, the Biden administration provided a transcript of the two leaders talking: “I can’t believe I’m doing…
Category: Economic
Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era’ Retail Price In Record-Breaking Sale
MEDFORD, OR – Mattress shoppers at Southern Oregon’s Quality Sleep miss the low prices they enjoyed during the Donald Trump presidency. So, owners Dale and Grant brought them back. “I remember in 2019, we had lines. And not the Hunter Biden kind, I’m talking about lines out the door,” Dale said. “But now, under Biden, a pillow…
Bidenomics: Car Considered Totaled After Running Out Of Gas
Riverside, CA – After a small, gas pump-shaped light appeared on his dashboard, a California man knew his car had been totaled. “No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO! Seriously?!” long-time Democrat voter, Doug Perry yelled as he rolled to a stop. “$14,000–down the drain! My TV never told me gas would be more expensive under Joe Biden!”…
White House Gift Shop Now Selling ‘Inflation Is A Myth’ Hoodies For $289
WASHINGTON, D.C.–The popular ‘inflation is a myth’ hoodie has returned to the online White House gift shop, but this time it costs $289. Despite their rich history of being unaware of things, Democrats shoppers actually noticed the price jump. The White House was forced to release the following statement regarding the sweatshirt: “Some have noticed a mostly peaceful…
AOC: ‘The Invisible Hand Of The Free Market Touched Me’
WASHINGTON, DC – The free market’s invisible hand is in major trouble after Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims it touched her inappropriately. “It was late, and I was coming home from a fundraiser that hopes to ban the minimum wage. Whenever there’s a minimum found, we would ban it. No one deserves the minimum–only the maximum. Anyways,…