Behind the scenes, Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema are being pressured to pass Joe Biden’s massive $3.5 trillion spending bill. “Listen here, Jack. I understand you have reservations about the bill,” Biden said, putting his arm around Manchin. “But in case you forgot, my son died. So I get my way. Remember?” Later that night,…
Category: Economic
Biden Voters Take Victory Lap By Filling Gas Tanks With More Affordable Mustard
Say what you will about liberals, but they sure do know their way around guns and cars. So after Joe Biden told Americans they will save .16 cents on their 4th of July meal (in red states), Democrats everywhere began filling their gas tanks with slightly more affordable mustard. “Did you see the tweet from…
Unemployment Office Makes Generous Counter Offer To Keep Citizen Away From Private Sector
Moments after Cincinnati’s Troy Olson finally landed a job offer from Quality Drywall Co., he headed down to his local unemployment office to discontinue his benefits. But, per Biden policy, his agent made him a generous counter offer. “No way, silly. We won’t lose you to those entitled jerks over at the private sector!” his agent, Brenda yelled…
Pangolin ‘Likely Responsible’ For Soaring Inflation Joe Biden Says
Inflation is getting so high even Hunter Biden is worried. But his father has already determined why it’s happening. “Look, we all know what’s going on here, folks,” Joe Biden began. “It was a Trump-supporting pangolin who set off a chain reaction that my administration is now dealing with. I think he was licking himself or something and…
New Biden Stimulus Just Sheet Of Plywood
In what many are calling overly generous, the Biden administration is mailing struggling Americans a 2’ x 3’ sheet of plywood in place of stimulus cash. With plywood only days away from becoming more valuable than gold, the decision might be a brilliant one. “Jen, why plywood? Why not give Americans regular dollars?” a reporter…