Unemployment Office Makes Generous Counter Offer To Keep Citizen Away From Private Sector

Unemployment Office Makes Generous Counter Offer To Keep Citizen Away From Private Sector

OHIO — Moments after Cincinnati’s Troy Olson finally landed a job offer from Quality Drywall Co., he headed down to his local unemployment office to discontinue his benefits. But, per Biden’s policy, his agent made him a generous counteroffer. “No way, silly. We won’t lose you to those entitled jerks over at the private sector!” his agent,…

Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love, Propose A 13% Tax On It Just In Case

Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love, Propose A 13% Tax On It Just In Case

WASHINGTON, D.C.–Some curious news came out of Democrat circles this Valentine’s Day. Apparently, the party has reluctantly conceded that love is not capable of being taxed. However, they are proposing a 13% tax rate should that ever change. “Listen, I’m a huge believer in love, in theory,” Schumer began. “In fact, I hope someday legislation…

Biden Offers China 50% Off American Manufacturing With Huge Cyber Monday Sale

Biden Offers China 50% Off American Manufacturing With Huge Cyber Monday Sale

WASHINGTON, DC — Fictional President Joe Biden, bitter that Donald Trump brought too many pesky manufacturing jobs back to America, has announced a killer Cyber Monday deal for Xi Jinping. In a press release titled ‘Make America Second Rate Again’, the Biden administration provided a transcript of the two leaders talking:  “I can’t believe I’m doing…