WASHINGTON, D.C.–The popular ‘inflation is a myth’ hoodie has returned to the online White House gift shop, but this time it costs $289. Despite their rich history of being unaware of things, Democrats shoppers actually noticed the price jump. The White House was forced to release the following statement regarding the sweatshirt: “Some have noticed a mostly peaceful…
Category: Economic
GOP Senators Furious Student Loan Forgiveness Money Isn't Going To Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC — GOP Senators are furious to learn the $300,000,000 of student debt forgiveness will not be gifted to Ukraine. “This is big government, yet again, reaching right into our pockets and taking the money we were gonna print and give to Ukraine!” Lindsey Grham yelled before collecting himself. “But ya know what hurts…
White House To Impose 1-Day Lockdown On Tuesday So They Can Take Credit For All 158 Million Jobs Coming Back On Wednesday
WASHINGTON, DC – In need of a little positive economic news, fictional president Joe Biden will mandate all businesses lockdown for one day starting on Tuesday. When asked, Biden said the stay-at-home order was because “The monkey pop is coming, and no one’s butt is safe.” But skeptics believe the real reason was given at…
Car Considered Totaled After Running Out Of Gas
Riverside, CA – After a small, gas pump-shaped light appeared on his dashboard, a California man knew his car had been totaled. “No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO! Seriously?!” long-time Democrat voter, Doug Perry yelled as he rolled to a stop. “$14,000–down the drain! My TV never told me gas would be more expensive under Joe Biden!”…
Mattress Store Boasts ‘Trump Era’ Retail Price In Record-Breaking Sale
MEDFORD, OR – Mattress shoppers at Southern Oregon’s Quality Sleep miss the low prices they enjoyed during the Donald Trump presidency. So owners Dale and Grant brought them back. “I remember in 2019 we had lines. And not the Hunter Biden kind, I’m talking about lines out the door,” Dale said. “But now, under Biden, a pillow…