Every police force in America has demanded a raise after claiming they’ve got the rioters ‘right where we want them.’ The country, which has only four buildings left intact, is not particularly thrilled with how law enforcement has handled the rioters. “What’s been happening is, a group of protestors will demand all the police abandon…
Category: Economic
CNN: Peaceful Protesters Lend Helping Hand To Keep Small Businesses Closed
“It was a touching scene tonight in Minneapolis as thousands of peaceful protesters lent a helping hand in the effort to keep small businesses closed,” CNN’s Don Lemon cheerfully reported. The protestors used the little-known technique of burning all the stores to the ground to accomplish this noble goal. Despite many Americans disagreeing with this…
Bankrupt Business Owners Take Comfort In Nurses Dancing In Empty Hospitals
After losing his restaurant and life savings, Doug Larson’s only source of joy these days is watching nurses and doctors dance around in empty hospitals. “Oh, great. Here’s another one,” Doug said while scrolling through his social media. “This is just freaking great. Freaking fantastic. Unbelievable!” But it was believable. And Doug’s dead-pan amusement is…
Science: Only Cure For Virus Is Giving Democrat-Run States Federal Bailout
The all-knowing science has spoken, and it’s not good news for much of the country. It said, if you want a snowball’s chance in hell to survive a virus with a 99.6% survival rate, the Democrat-run states are going to need a bailout from the federal government. Last week, all the Democrat governors met with…
Democrats To Allow Small Businesses To Reopen Providing They Become Wal-Marts
If you’re a small business owner, get ready for some good news. Democrats announced today that if you can quickly convert your store into a Walmart franchise, you will be allowed to reopen. “Republicans who keep saying democrats are being unreasonable are simply lying,” Chuck Schumer said. “All these business owners have to do is…
