MEXICO CITY— Members of the previous administration were dealt some rather embarrassing news Friday when it was learned that Mexico had been attempting to pay for a border wall, but the US Treasury does not take Discover Card. Shortly after the 2016 election, a low-level Trump staffer received a series of voicemails from then-Mexican President…
Category: Economic
Bernie Sanders Scolds Visa For Using GOP Talking Point On His Credit Card Statement
MONTPELIER, VT – While trying to relax in another freshly purchased lake house, Bernie Sanders was again irritated with another big corporation. This week, it was the Visa Credit Card company. The Senator was first alerted to the harassment by his $6.32-an-hour-earning assistant. “Excuse me, Mr. Sanders? I think you should really take a look…
Woke Bank Makes Good On Climate Pledge By Turning Off Their Lights Forever
SANTA CLARA, CA – The brilliant business titans over at Silicon Valley Bank have decided to take a major stand on global warming after they realized they had no more money. In a touching Twitter post, the bank wrote: “Effective immediately, all 17 of our branches will courageously switch off all their lights. Forever. But…
Target Introduces ‘Democrat Only’ Self-Checkout Line Where They Just Run Out Without Paying
MINNEAPOLIS, MN — What proved to be a successful pilot program over the summer, Target stores are pleased to roll out their new ‘Democrat only’ self-checkout lines nationwide. The large retail store boasts the new line will be a handy way for loyal Democrats to simply sprint out of the building without the tedious and…
Car Considered Totaled After Running Out Of Gas
Riverside, CA – After a small, gas pump-shaped light appeared on his dashboard, a California man knew his car had been totaled. “No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO! Seriously?!” long-time Democrat voter, Doug Perry yelled as he rolled to a stop. “$14,000–down the drain! My TV never told me gas would be more expensive under Joe Biden!”…