Despite purchasing over a dozen homes this year, the good folks running Black Lives Matter Inc. still find themselves flush with too much cash. And now, with more racial tension hitting the streets, another windfall of cash is hitting their bank accounts. Naturally, real estate agents everywhere are worried they might be slammed with too…
Category: Economic
White House Spins Food Shortage As ‘The Joe Biden Diet’
WASHINGTON, D.C.–If you think a national food shortage could be a problem, you’re probably setting up folding chairs and the refreshment table for your local Qanon meeting at this very moment. At least that’s what the White House is saying. After most Americans noticed the empty shelves in their local grocery store, this administration unveiled…
Soon: My Pillow To Replace The Dollar As US Currency
Minneapolis, MN– As America’s economy teeters, the US Treasury has finally made the announcement that many were anticipating: My Pillow will officially replace the dollar as US currency. “Well, I think the dollar had a good run, but when you look at what we inherited from the former administration, we were rudely left with nowhere…
White House Gift Shop Now Selling ‘Inflation Is A Myth’ Hoodies For $289
WASHINGTON, D.C.–The popular ‘inflation is a myth’ hoodie has returned to the online White House gift shop, but this time it costs $289. Despite their rich history of being unaware of things, liberal shoppers actually noticed the price jump. The White House was forced to release the following statement regarding the sweatshirt: “Some have noticed a mostly peaceful…
Unemployment Office Makes Generous Counter Offer To Keep Citizen Away From Private Sector
Moments after Cincinnati’s Troy Olson finally landed a job offer from Quality Drywall Co., he headed down to his local unemployment office to discontinue his benefits. But, per Biden policy, his agent made him a generous counter offer. “No way, silly. We won’t lose you to those entitled jerks over at the private sector!” his agent, Brenda yelled…