In a recent survey of the nation’s children, rich folks not paying their fair share have leapfrogged monsters under the bed in their list of fears. “I used to sit in bed and be afraid of the boogeyman,” said 7-year-old Emily Trent. “But now I’m scared of the 1% skirting payment for their fair share.…
Category: Economic
Bernie Sanders Angry To Learn His Credit Score Is: Potato
On Tuesday Bernie Sanders checked his credit score and was outraged to learn it was: Potato. “Potato?!” the senator yelled. “I knew it!” A representative at FICO told The Glorious American they were unsure how a potato became an option for Sanders, but when they entered in his info, the score came back “potato” every…
Unemployment Rate So Low, Department Of Labor Just Names The 6 People Not Working
On Friday, the Department of Labor released names of the six unemployed Americans actively looking for work. “This unusual announcement was due to how low the unemployment rate has fallen and we thought this would just be easier,” said Labor Secretary Ray Harris. As the economy continues to roar, the following citizens are the last…
Democrats Furious About Question #9 In Upcoming Census
The Trump administration has released its questions for the 2020 Census, and House Democrats are furious about question #9. The question asks, “Are you a terrorist?” “This is outrageous,” said Nancy Pelosi. “That is a deliberate misuse of the census and a total violation of the terrorist’s privacy. Terrorists are already weighed down with unfair…
Trump Puts Dwight In Charge Of Healthcare
On Monday, President Donald Trump put Dwight in charge of healthcare. This comes as a surprise to many as the Scranton paper salesman lacks experience in both medicine and policy writing. Yet Trump seemed undeterred when introducing the new director of Health and Human Services. “Dwight will do a fantastic job, that I know for…