When mother nature strikes, it’s rare she brings good news. However, that was the case when California lawmakers awoke Thursday morning. “Would you believe the earthquake shook free a dozen new taxes?” Gavin Newsom said. “This is great news!” He yelled pumping his fist. Before the quake, the 12 new taxes were stuck in gridlock…
Category: Economic
Mall Closes Its Doors, Forgets To Tell Sears Employees
After 62 years of serving Henderson, Nevada, Cedar Mall is closing its doors and converting the building into a Trampoline City. The problem is, no one bothered to tell Sears. “To be honest, we kind of forgot that Sears was even there,” said property manager, Don Booker. The Mall’s last day of business was Saturday,…
Unable To Grant Full Reparations, White People Opt To Extend $100 itunes Gift Card
Although the idea of offering reparations to Black Americans has picked up steam, it was recently decided such payments would not be made. However, the nation’s white people have agreed to offer the next best thing: a $100 itunes gift card. “We think this is a great compromise,” Alison Kimball of Green Bay told The…
Trump Threatens To Slash Funding For The War On Women
On Tuesday President Trump hinted the next federal budget could drastically slash funding for the War on Women. “This is an outrage,” said Senator Chuck Schumer. “The War on Women is a time-honored tradition that hundreds of Democrats rely on! It needs more funding! Not less!” he screamed on the Senate floor. People close to…