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Unable To Grant Full Reparations, White People Opt To Extend $100 itunes Gift Card

Unable To Grant Full Reparations, White People Opt To Extend $100 itunes Gift Card

Although the idea of offering reparations to Black Americans has picked up steam, it was recently decided such payments would not be made. However, the nation’s white people have agreed to offer the next best thing: a $100 itunes gift card.

“We think this is a great compromise,” Alison Kimball of Green Bay told The Glorious American. “We fought our darnedest for full reparations but $100 towards any songs you’d like? I mean, that’s a great day no matter who you are,” she concluded.

While the gifting of the oversized $100 itunes gift card was a touching ceremony, critics pointed out the payment is roughly 40 billion dollars shy.

Update: The Glorious American has learned this is not $100 for every Black American but a singular gift card to be split amongst the community.