WASHINGTON, DC – On Thursday, President-elect Trump and his DOGE crew hinted the next federal budget could drastically slash funding for the War on Women.
“This is an outrage,” said Senator Chuck Schumer. “The War on Women is a time-honored tradition that hundreds of Democrats rely on! It needs more funding! Not less!” he screamed on the Senate floor.
People close to the President believe he might be serious. “If I were a woman, I would plan on a lot less war being waged on me very soon,” said DOGE chief Elon Musk. “We simply cannot afford it any longer.”
Currently, the War on Women represents 3% of the federal budget. Democrats use every cent on touring the nation, explaining to Americans how disadvantaged women are. If President Trump gets his wish, funding could be slashed as low as 1.5%.
Update: President Trump and Senate Democrats are rumored to be close to an agreement that would reduce the funding to 2.2% but grant the Democrats a new fleet of B-52 Bombers for their war efforts.
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