In what many are calling overly generous, the Biden administration is mailing struggling Americans a 2’ x 3’ sheet of plywood in place of stimulus cash. With plywood only days away from becoming more valuable than gold, the decision might be a brilliant one. “Jen, why plywood? Why not give Americans regular dollars?” a reporter…
Category: Economic
As Racial Tensions Flare, Realtors Brace For Extra Business From BLM Leaders
Despite purchasing over a dozen homes this year, the good folks running Black Lives Matter Inc. still find themselves flush with too much cash. And now, with more racial tension hitting the streets, another windfall of cash is hitting their bank accounts. Naturally, real estate agents everywhere are worried they might be slammed with too…
Teachers: We’d Feel Much Safer Once We Get Our BMW 7 Series 750i
It seems our society continues to fail our most honorable heroes. In a recent press conference, the teachers unions reminded Americans they have yet to receive their complimentary BMW 7 Series 750i. “I know we’d all feel much safer once we get that car,” a representative said. “Unlike the private sector, some teachers are forced…
Now In Charge, Teachers Unions Take Over United Nations
After taking a stranglehold of the country, the teachers unions have naturally begun to guide the United States through international affairs. On Wednesday, four of the more ornery members of the Chicago school union addressed the United Nations. “Quiet down! Listen for your name and say ‘here’!” a teacher screeched before doing roll call with…
Democrats Pretty Sure You Can’t Buy Love But Propose A 13% Tax On It Just In Case
Some curious news came out of Democrat circles this Valentine’s Day. Apparently, the party has reluctantly conceded that love is not capable of being taxed. However, they are proposing a 13% tax rate should that ever change. “Listen, I’m a huge believer in love, in theory,” Schumer began. “In fact, I hope someday legislation is…