Riverside, CA – After a small, gas pump-shaped light appeared on his dashboard, a California man knew his car had been totaled.
“No, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO! Seriously?!” long-time Democrat voter Doug Perry yelled as he rolled to a stop. “$14,000–down the drain! My TV never told me gas would be more expensive under Joe Biden!”
Under Democratic leadership, refueling Doug’s 2014 Kia Optima would cost $14,032. Auto insurance companies claim that’s more than the vehicle’s worth, so Doug will be walking.
“This whole gas situation is abusive. Frankly, it’s inappropriate. Now what? I’m forced to walk to the youth drag queen show at Chuck E. Cheese tonight?” Doug moaned.
Doug’s story is becoming a common one. Since being selected, Joe Biden has ushered in a 91% increase in Californians opting to walk to their local grooming destination– the largest increase since automobiles were invented.
Thankfully for Biden, his press secretary brilliantly reminded Americans that the little ‘gas empty’ icon on most dashboards is orange.
“You know who that color reminds you of, right?” Jean-Pierre said. “That’s right. Donald J. Trump did this to you. It’s just science.”
Update: In order to showcase his displeasure with California politicians, Doug Perry has vowed to vote for Progressive Democrats ‘even harder’ in the midterms.
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