WASHINGTON, D.C.–The popular ‘inflation is a myth’ hoodie has returned to the online White House gift shop, but this time it costs $289. Despite their rich history of being unaware of things, Democrats shoppers actually noticed the price jump. The White House was forced to release the following statement regarding the sweatshirt: “Some have noticed a mostly peaceful…
Category: Economic
GOP Senators Furious Student Loan Forgiveness Money Isn't Going To Ukraine
WASHINGTON, DC — GOP Senators are furious to learn the $300,000,000 of student debt forgiveness will not be gifted to Ukraine. “This is big government, yet again, reaching right into our pockets and taking the money we were gonna print and give to Ukraine!” Lindsey Grham yelled before collecting himself. “But ya know what hurts…
AOC: ‘The Invisible Hand Of The Free Market Touched Me’
WASHINGTON, DC – The invisible hand of the free market is in major trouble after Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez claims it touched her inappropriately. “It was late, and I was coming home from a fundraiser that hopes to ban the minimum wage. Whenever there’s a minimum found, we would ban it. No one deserves the minimum. Anyways,…
White House Spins Food Shortage As ‘The Joe Biden Diet’
WASHINGTON, D.C.–If you think a national food shortage could be a problem, you’re probably setting up folding chairs and the refreshment table for your local Qanon meeting at this very moment. At least that’s what the White House is saying. After most Americans noticed the empty shelves in their local grocery store, this administration unveiled…
Soon: My Pillow To Replace The Dollar As US Currency
Minneapolis, MN– As America’s economy teeters, the US Treasury has finally made the announcement that many were anticipating: My Pillow will officially replace the dollar as US currency. “Well, I think the dollar had a good run, but when you look at what we inherited from the former administration, we were rudely left with nowhere…