MONTPELIER, VT – While trying to relax in another freshly purchased lake house, Bernie Sanders was again irritated with another big corporation. This week, it was the Visa Credit Card company.
The Senator was first alerted to the harassment by his $6.32-an-hour-earning assistant.
“Excuse me, Mr. Sanders? I think you should really take a look at this statement. This says ‘final notice,’” the assistant said.
Bernie grabbed the paper and threw his arms in the air. “OH! Here we go again!” he yelled while digging through the trash, looking for a pen.
“You know what I believe? I believe this notice is from Sean Hannity—I just know it is,” Bernie said as he began feverishly writing on the paper. “THIS IS A RIGHT-WING TALKING POINT!”
“Are you sure, Mr. Sanders?” his assistant asked. “This clearly looks like an official past-due statement from Visa. Also, how does one spend $2,310 on nose trimmers?”
Update: The Vermont Senator made the shrewd move of writing “the American taxpayer” as the co-signer for his debt. Visa is now going after them for his balance.
“Perfect! This way, no one gets harmed.” Sanders proclaimed.
Give Us Story Ideas