WYOMING – As brilliant geriatric socialists like Bernie Sanders have taught us, there is a universal right to free healthcare. So it was no surprise when Scientists at the University of Wyoming discovered evidence showing a caveman used this perk to recover from a T-Rex attack. The team of paleontologists uncovered an ancient hospital filing…
Category: Studies & Science
'Those Borders Sure Look Secure' Biden Says Of Jurassic Park
WASHINGTON, DC. –As word from the Costa Rica Government continues to detail the herd of bloodthirsty dinosaurs rampaging through Jurassic Park, the Biden administration still refuses to call it a crisis. “We’ve seen the reports, and we’ll continue to monitor the situation, but that theme park is still a beacon of safety and security,” Karine…
Democrats Hope Focus Groups Love The Phrase ‘Burn The Whole F------ Country Down’
WASHINGTON, DC — The phrase “Burn the whole f***ing country down” is being considered vital by the Biden administration to sum up America under his leadership. So leading Democrats are hoping that focus groups will respond favorably to the phrase. CNN’s Don Lemon recently suggested the only rational and responsible path for the Democrats is…
Shock Poll: Trump Leads Big With People Who Just Got Their Ass Beat By BLM
According to a recent Trafalgar poll, when people believe a mob of Black Lives Matter activists spots them and start following them down the street, they choose Trump over Biden by a margin of 91 points. Then Trump’s lead widens to 99 points when the BLM member(s) reach for their lead pipes and baseball bats. …
With Only One Unfulfilled Conspiracy Theory Left, All Eyes Turn To The Friggin’ Frogs
AUSTIN, TX — Now that even the wildest conspiracies have been proven 100% true, Americans everywhere have turned their attention to the last unfulfilled theory. Will all the friggin’ frogs all turn friggin’ gay? “Look, I know it’s crazy to say the coastal elites want to turn all the friggin’, frogs gay but it was…