BOSTON, MA — Gender-specific phrases are insensitive and outdated. Yet according to a new Pew Research study, 89% of Americans lack the balls to stop using them.
Even worse news, when confronted about their use of gender-centric phrases, a whopping 96% of them were total dicks about it.
“I don’t understand it. We showed these numb nuts the data, and they get their panties all in a bunch,” the researcher commented. “The world has changed, and you just can’t use sexist language anymore. So to the women who get defensive, I would tell them to take it like a man. For the men, they need to stop being pussies.”
The study also finds that men and women handle stress very differently. A man will often need his space to cope, while a woman will become absolutely hysterical and need to calm down.
Update: The Pew Research Center noted that more studies are needed to help rid our culture of sexist language, but they lacked the manpower.
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