WASHINGTON, DC — It was a tearjerker on the White House lawn as President Trump announced the pardon of the infamous thief and kidnapper known as Prison Mike. That was five years ago today. “Get up here, Mike!” Trump famously yelled at the criminal currently on parole. “Ya know, a lot of people tell me…
Category: Trump
FBI Accidentally Grants Trump Immunity From Everything After He Buys One Of Hunter’s Paintings
Mar-a-Lago, FL– It was a simple plan. In fact, many were surprised it wasn’t thought of sooner. Everyone knew Hunter Biden was selling his paintings in exchange for the DOJ and FBI to look the other way on horrifying crimes. And while Donald Trump doesn’t have any crimes to worry about, he is lousy with…
Abercrombie & Fitch Pressured To Drop Trump Modeling Campaign
New Albany, OH — Abercrombie & Fitch will no longer be showcasing Donald Trump’s upcoming modeling campaign, the clothing company announced Saturday. The cancellation comes as fears mount that the President isn’t a creepy, liberal, hack Democrat groomer—something that is considered mandatory in the fashion industry. “He’s Hitler. And this time, we mean it,”…
Snoop Dogg Disappointed With Trump’s Irresponsible Drug Use
MAR-A-LAGO, FL —After then-President Donald Trump announced he used Hydroxychloroquine, predictably, it was Snoop Dogg who spoke up to rebuke the ‘irresponsible’ drug use. “So Trump’s on that hydroxyl-quizzle? Way outta line if you ask this musician. Way outta line,” the rapper said in an Instagram video. Mr. Dogg continued, “What hurts the most is…
Star Witness Claims Democrats Have Cause to Arrest Trump beCAUSE They Hate Him
MANHATTAN, NY — In what ended up being a groundbreaking indictment, DA Alvin Braggs called regional manager of Dunder Mifflin Paper, Michael Scott, to testify. It has been rumored that Democrats have been weaponizing the powers of government to harass President Trump without proper cause. Then Michael Scott, fresh off a visit from his favorite…