SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon, Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola LaTinks and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…
Category: Trump
Democrats Pretty Sure President Trump is the Reason Why Their Fathers Didn’t Love Them
WASHINGTON, D.C. — On Sunday, House Democrats stealthy added the following edit to one of Donald Trump’s articles of impeachment: “Failure to make our daddies love us.” When members of the media noticed this surprising addition, Pelosi reluctantly elaborated. “Well, it’s a completely undisputed fact,” the Speaker began. “When I was sitting across from the…
Evidence Of Trump-Led Killer Bear Army At Capitol May Have Been Doctored
WASHINGTON, DC — House Democrats are being pressured to withdraw evidence in their case against Donald Trump after claims of his MAGA hat-wearing army of killer bears became disputed. The bears, impeachment manager Jamie Raskin explained, had been trained by Trump to attack anyone who supports mail-in voting and all lightweight losers. “Just look at this picture…
Trump: ‘I Would Send Dr. Fauci To Jail, But Only For 15 Days'
Holding both hands in front of himself as if he were making a beautiful vase on a pottery wheel, President Donald Trump told a packed Georgia stadium what he believes should happen to Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Dr. Fauci. Now there’s a beaut. We all know he’s not a very smart doctor. Not a smart cookie–a dumb cookie. It’s called…he’s…
Long Gas Lines Give Jonah Goldberg Extra Time To Complain About Trump’s Mean Tweets
“A true blessing from our wonderfully legitimate President Biden.” That’s what never-Trumper, Jonah Goldberg called his 190-minute wait in line for gas on Tuesday. While many were annoyed at the huge wait, the disgraced columnist used the extra time to fine-tune some criticisms of President Donald Trump. The wait times have been so long, Goldberg,…