WASHINGTON, DC— On behalf of all Republicans, legitimate Trump supporter, Ray Epps has offered to charge the FBI offices in a rage-filled act of revenge. “Don’t worry! I’ll handle this, you guys! Tomorrow, I’ll go INTO the offices and fix this!” he yelled to several random guys. “I’ll go because I’ve got a reserved parking…
Category: Trump
Jill Biden Warns Hispanics Trump ‘Nacho Average Politician,’ And ‘Planning Hostile Taco-ver’
SAN ANTONIO, TX– First Lady and accomplished heart surgeon, Doctor Jill Biden MD attempted to connect with Latinos Monday when she said they were as unique as “breakfast tacos.” “Hola LaTinks and LaTinlets! I hope you’re all feeling very.. uhh, como se dice.. tinky today!” She yelled to a confused audience. “I know 78% of you like the former President…
Trump: ‘I Would Send Dr. Fauci To Jail, But Only For 15 Days'
Holding both hands in front of himself as if he were making a beautiful vase on a pottery wheel, President Donald Trump told a packed Georgia stadium what he believes should happen to Dr. Anthony Fauci. “Dr. Fauci. Now there’s a beaut. We all know he’s not a very smart doctor. Not a smart cookie–a dumb cookie. It’s called…he’s…
Long Gas Lines Give Jonah Goldberg Extra Time To Complain About Trump’s Mean Tweets
“A true blessing from our wonderfully legitimate President Biden.” That’s what never-Trumper, Jonah Goldberg called his 190-minute wait in line for gas on Tuesday. While many were annoyed at the huge wait, the disgraced columnist used the extra time to fine-tune some criticisms of President Donald Trump. The wait times have been so long, Goldberg,…
Brilliant: Donald Trump Ends All Talk Of Vaccine Passports By Endorsing It
It looks like we can all thank Donald Trump for ending the vaccine passport idea after the former President released the following statement on Sunday: “Because the loser Democrats are getting awfully excited about this whole vaccine passport thing, I feel it’s time I tell the whole world what I think. And I think…