Evidence Of Trump-Led Killer Bear Army At Capitol May Have Been Doctored

Evidence Of Trump-Led Killer Bear Army At Capitol May Have Been Doctored

WASHINGTON, DC — House Democrats are being pressured to withdraw evidence in their case against Donald Trump after claims of his MAGA hat-wearing army of killer bears became disputed.

The bears, impeachment manager Jamie Raskin explained, had been trained by Trump to attack anyone who supports mail-in voting and all lightweight losers.   

“Just look at this picture I found off the internet,” Raskin said.  “This was taken only minutes after Donald Trump told his supporters, and I quote, ‘We tried the 2020 election the regular way—and look where that got us!  So now we do it Trump-style.  And that means I bring out my two dozen Kodiak bears to thrash and trash the RINOs and do-nothing Democrats!  It’s tough stuff.  I take no pleasure in this, believe me.  But this is what the constitution calls for.’”   

At that time, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez screamed in fear.  “He’s right!  One of those bears mauled me—a woman of color, right in the face!  You would all see my wounds, but I don’t want to take off my mask.”

However, the authorities are unable to find proof twenty-four bears ravaged Capitol Hill that day.  The picture seems to be taken from a little-known, left-wing satire website called The New York Times.   

Update:  House Democrats are now clarifying that Trump’s killer bear army is simply a metaphor for his legion of artic wolves he’s preparing to unleash on the Biden administration. 

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