WILMINGTON, DE – Maintaining a good work-life balance is essential. And credit where credit’s due, Joe Biden is ending his fictional Presidency, having struck an admirable equilibrium between the two.
“I’ve practiced medicine for over thirty years, and I can barely detect a life,” a White House doctor said of Biden. “And when you juxtapose that with barely working, it might be the most amazing work-life balance I’ve seen. Although, Fetterman’s up there.”


Biden’s most loyal constituency, twice-divorced, twice-masked, obese women who identify as men with at least seven cats, have begun replicating Joe’s example of a great work-life balance. After falling down four flights of stairs, a whale-sized Biden voter in Seattle lay on the floor of its apartment complex for roughly twelve days.
“The work I missed was equal to the life I missed. Joe would’ve been so proud of me,” the great whale said.
The vaccine has also proven to be a safe and effective way to achieve a work-life balance for Democrat voters.
“They don’t work. And now, they don’t live,” Dr. Fauci sheepishly said. “So, I would tell folks like Rand Paul to look at the fantastic work-life balance the vaccine brings. In fact, if you want a resting heart rate of zero? Please get your boosters.”
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