WASHINGTON, DC – How bad was Joe Biden’s week? Well, according to his personal doctor, the news was so monumentally catastrophic for him; the fictional president actually recalled some of the specific events.
“I knew something was wrong when he woke up, and he remembered who he was,” the doctor explained. “But then he yelled, ‘That damn Supreme Court! Shot down my man date. I, uuuuuhh really wanted to date that man, too.’”
And things got even worse after his breakfast brought back more flashbacks of his dreaded week:
“Oh! And I think I did a debate stage on CNNhenabagahubbabuba. You were there!” he said, pointing to a mirror. “And you were there too,” he said, looking at wadded up poopy pants on the floor.
According to his wife, Biden’s mood lifted as he was laughing at the TV with his head turned sideways.
“Jill, get in here, quick!” he yelled. “The news is saying my approval rating is a couple of pairs of boobs!”
“That’s 33%, honey,” Jill somberly replied as she took him back to bed.
Update: A while later, Kamala Harris stopped by to see Joe and the doctors told her it was ‘not a good time’ due to his memories of their horrible week.
“Why, what happened bad this week?” Harris asked.
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