WASHINGTON, DC — When famed pharmaceutical rep Anthony Fauci heard that 19-year-old Colton Lewis was walking through a Target without a mask, the salesman prepared himself to deliver a tough conversation with the young man. Colton, still at the Target store when Fauci arrived, was approached by the doctor. “Excuse me, Colton? Can you please…
Category: Health
Fauci Added To US Gymnast Team After Impressive Display Of Flipping And Flopping
WASHINGTON, DC — A House hearing featuring Dr. Fauci, the fake health expert, contradicted himself a record 32 times. Little did he know, the head coach of the USA gymnastics squad was watching, and he frantically reached out to the brilliant doctor. “I’ve never seen such flipping and flopping,” the coach later told Fauci over…
Study: Without Booster Shots, Pharmaceutical Companies Won’t Make A Crap Ton More Money
A new study is rocking the fake doctor community, and Dr. Fauci is sounding the alarm. The study, sanctioned by the Land Rover Of Huntington Beach dealership next to the Pfizer headquarters, finds that without a never-ending stream of booster shots, pharmaceutical companies will likely not rake in a crap ton more money. “Some would say…
Despite Being Fully Vaccinated, Nancy Pelosi Tests Positive For Rabies Again
WASHINGTON, D.C. –A fully vaccinated Nancy Pelosi has tested positive for rabies again, a senior spokesperson confirmed Friday. The positive test came after she was found crawling on all fours around the Capitol building while foaming at the mouth. “We don’t understand how this keeps on happening,” a concerned Kevin McCarthy said. “She was placed on a…
Mitch McConnell Freezes For Over A Minute Trying To Remember Which Party He's In
WASHINGTON, DC – Mitch McConnell froze on live television for over a minute while struggling to remember which party he represents. This was the second time in 30 days the 102-year-old Senator displayed such political prowess. “I stand here this afternoon firmly committed to my Democr—errr, Republi… uh. Now who in the hell do I..”…