FAYETTEVILLE, AR— The betting markets now have Donald Trump as the overwhelming favorite to win the 2024 election after a 7-year-old in Northwest Arkansas used his Make-A-Wish request to prohibit the Democrats from cheating in the swing states. Per the Geneva Conventions, the charity is mandated to deliver the young boy’s dream.
Jacob Parker, who is terminality ill with Long Covid, a disease that the impeccable medical establishment has deemed uncurable, made his touching statement to the foundation on Friday morning:
“I’m only seven, and I know the Democrats have a whole buncha filled-out ballots from Mexican guys ready to go. If they need a million or even a zillion votes to beat Trump, they will use them. So, with my wish, I just wish with my whole heart they won’t cheat!”
As news cameras rolled, a teary-eyed Make-A-Wish official called the DNC and relayed the request. Within hours, illegal ballot harvesters in Arizona, Pennsylvania, Georgia, Wisconsin, and Michigan packed up their gear and left the states. Soon CNN’s website showed Donald Trump somehow predicted to win 712 electoral college votes.
Young Jacob was elated and thanked the charity profusely.
“I can’t believe I’ve got my wish! The globalist communist pedophiles are gonna lose now,” he said as his parents held his hands. “And they can go back to hell with the other demons where they belong! Now Donald Trump can finally drain the swamp and hire a buncha based Chads to run America. I’m so happy!”
Update: Nancy Pelosi has demanded her 8-year-old niece undergo the first-ever brain tumor transplant, a once unthinkable procedure recently green-lit by Anthony Fauci. At gunpoint, Pelosi’s now deathly ill niece has alerted the Make-A-Wish foundation that she desperately desires to reinstate Joe Biden’s robust voter fraud operation.
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