Don Lemon sent theologians scrambling again last night after explaining how “God is not above any of us.” Lemon’s comments came during a bizarre on-air spat with Ben Shapiro. “Ben, we disagree on a lot, but we can both agree that God is real, and so am I. Therefore, I am God. Correct?” Lemon asked.…
Category: Faith
Chris Wallace Grills Biden: ‘Did It Hurt, Sir? When You Fell From Heaven?’
Fictional President Joe Biden entered the lion’s den this week when he appeared on Chris Wallace’s show. Wallace, who once applied sunscreen to Obama’s back so evenly it made Barack cry, didn’t hold back. “You know what, President Biden? Here at Fox, our ratings are low and people are demanding accountability more than ever. So…
Large California Family To Host Funeral For Turkey Famous For Social Justice Work
It’s with a heavy heart that The Glorious American informs the world that the turkey famous for his work as a social justice warrior, the Reverend Stuffy Gobbleson, sadly passed away this week. He was overweight, diabetic, and lived twice as long as a normal turkey, but many believe it was our racist and unjust nation that…
Illinois Citizens Protest Local Graveyards For Voting In Democrats
“What’s the matter with you, Grammy?!” screamed Chicago native, Emily Rodgers at her grandmother’s grave. “Why must you keep voting Democrats into office?!” Scenes like this are becoming commonplace in the state of Illinois as the local dead population continues to usher radical Democrats into office with their vote. Polling data shows Illinois’ dead continue…
Government Promises To Give All Our Freedoms ‘Right Back’ After Virus
“You guys pinky swear you’ll give these back, right?” That’s what Americans are asking after the government abolished their right to assemble, protest, religion, look at a tree, and free speech. “Oh yeah, are you kidding? We’re going to give those freedoms right back, probably,” Governor Gavin Newsom explained. “It’s just that this virus is…