Last week, President Trump was the laughing stock of Washington after news leaked that he had made an offer to buy Greenland. As it so often is, the joke might be on Washington as multiple sources are reporting Donald Trump has purchased the Moon. It appears the President may have used his interest in Greenland…
Category: World & Weather
Elizabeth Warren Releases Flowchart To Clarify When She'd Use Nuclear Weapon
During Tuesday’s debate, Elizabeth Warren received some criticism for appearing too reluctant on using nuclear weapons. To clear up any confusion her campaign decided to clarify her stance by releasing a handy flowchart for all voters to see. “A responsible person should be transparent when detonating nuclear weapons,” Warren told The Glorious American. “At least…
50 Years Later, Feminists Still Angry About Flag On Lunar Surface
Despite having 50 years to let it go, feminists and progressives are still fuming at the flag the men of NASA chose to plant on the Moon. “It’s an outrage,” Elizabeth Alpert told The Glorious American. “That horrible flag is what’s holding women back from our own Moon adventures. Seriously, most women are unwavering rule…
Bombshell: Mitch McConnell’s Ancestors Were Abusive Towards Dinosaurs
Senate Majority Leader, Mitch McConnell, who recently gave Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom only “2 Turtles”, may have done so due to a conflict of interest on the matter. In a recent bombshell report by NBC News, it appears Mitch McConnell’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandfather may have been abusive towards dinosaurs. “While the exact details are fuzzy, cave…
Trump Appoints The Charmin Bears To Head EPA
Donald Trump has appointed the Charmin Bears to run the Department of Environmental Protection Agency. The President’s reasoning for the appointment was simple; “Have you seen those bears clean?” Trump said in the press conference. “I mean, if they can clean our nation like they do those hineys, we’ll be in tremendous shape!” he concluded.…