After word leaked from CNN that Donald Trump would consider using a nuclear bomb to redirect a hurricane towards Mexico, the President found himself needing to clarify his position late Monday.
“Let me just say that the fake news CNN gave us a real beaut today,” Trump began. “I said, if we could use a nuke to give the hurricane a little nudge away from Florida, that would be terrific.”
But the press had a sneaky suspicion that “nudging away from Florida” was a dog whistle for “hating brown people”.
“You know what?” Trump interrupted. “I’ve said too much. If we do use a nuke, I don’t want to give the hurricane any hints at what we’re thinking,” Trump snapped.
While this leak made the headlines, there was also a rumor that Trump was considering pitting the hurricane against the Amazon fire.
“Yes, I would endorse a winner-take-all battle between the two,” Trump admitted.