LONG BEACH, CA — The Center for Global Warming Preparedness has opened its doors on the beautiful waterfront of Long Beach, California. The new $932 million dollar location will allow climatologists to focus on the thankless job of warning Americans of how deadly rising sea levels will be. Tours of the building began this week,…
Category: World & Weather
Matt Walsh Sets World Record For Correctly Assuming 2,000 Consecutive Genders
TENNESSEE- Amateur gender knower and all-around man’s man, Matt Walsh put on perhaps his most jaw-dropping performance at the Nashville West Shopping Center this week. While waiting for his wife to leave the little-known Jeremy’s Modest Lingerie retail store, The Daily Wire host began casually assuming the genders of those passing him. Soon, people began…
Report: Mexico Attempted To Pay For the Wall Multiple Times, But US Treasury Doesn’t Take Discover
MEXICO CITY— Members of the previous administration were dealt some rather embarrassing news Friday when it was learned that Mexico had been attempting to pay for a border wall, but the US Treasury does not take Discover Card. Shortly after the 2016 election, a low-level Trump staffer received a series of voicemails from then-Mexican President…
'Wow, Those Borders Sure Look Secure' Biden Whispers Watching Jurassic Park
WASHINGTON, DC. –As word from the Costa Rica Government continues to detail the herd of bloodthirsty dinosaurs rampaging through Jurassic Park, the Biden administration still refuses to call it a crisis. “We’ve seen the reports, and we’ll continue to monitor the situation, but that theme park is still a beacon of safety and security,” Karine…