Jealous of Ukraine, Teachers Unions Now Also Demanding Surface-To-Air Missiles, Javelins

Jealous of Ukraine, Teachers Unions Now Also Demanding Surface-To-Air Missiles, Javelins

CHICAGO, IL–Teachers Unions all over the nation are now demanding the Biden administration supply them with surface-to-air missiles and javelins before they can safely return to the classroom. “Everyone was giving us attention and asking us what we wanted for eighteen months and now it’s Ukraine, Ukraine, Ukraine! Blah-blah-blah!” a disgusted Randi Weingarten said. “So I told Biden, ‘if…

Mitt Romney Claims To Have ‘Binders Full Of Proof’ Tucker Carlson Doesn’t Want To Have World War III

Mitt Romney Claims To Have ‘Binders Full Of Proof’ Tucker Carlson Doesn’t Want To Have World War III

SALT LAKE CITY, UT– Mitchell Demetrius Romney, fresh off torching a Walgreens with his BLM homies, approached the media Monday, claiming to have proof Fox News host, Tucker Carlson wants to prevent World War III.  “I’m not gonna tell you my source for this because Adam Schiff said he would never speak to me again, but…

Biden Says Surprise Retaliation On Russia To Take Place Tomorrow At 1800

Biden Says Surprise Retaliation On Russia To Take Place Tomorrow At 1800

WASHINGTON, D.C.– Fictional President, Joe Biden announced to the world that a surprise retaliation on Russia will be tomorrow at 18:00 sharp. “Their dog-faced pony soldiers will have no idea it’s coming,” Biden sternly told the nation. “My generals have suggested we have our most transgendered, vaccinated platoon invade from the north. Each soldier will be dressed…

White House: Vladimir Putin Pooped Joe Biden’s Pants, Likely To Reoffend

White House: Vladimir Putin Pooped Joe Biden’s Pants, Likely To Reoffend

Washington, D.C. — Lately, America is learning the depths of Russia’s wrongdoings all over the place. On Thursday, Jen Psaki revealed that seventeen intelligence agencies have confirmed that it was Vladimir Putin who was responsible for pooping Joe Biden’s pants while visiting the Vatican. “Russia, in perhaps their stinkiest crime to date, purposefully soiled our…