EL PASO, TX — In a rare visit to Texas, Kamala Harris inadvertently delivered on one of Donald Trump’s key initiatives: She built the wall.
The massive barrier, which the locals are calling “The Pinot Partition,” was accidentally constructed from hundreds of her discarded wine boxes.
“These empty boxes kept being thrown out her campaign bus’ windows, and we eventually asked her what she wanted us to do with all of them. She screamed, ‘I don’t give a ****, just stack them somewhere,'” a nervous Harris staffer explained, pointing towards the southern border.
Soon, the wall of boxes became too daunting for migrants to navigate around, and El Paso’s illegal immigration problem was fixed. Crime quickly plummeted, and the flow of fentanyl stopped.
When the local newspaper’s headline read, “Turn Around, Illegals: Kamala Harris ENDS Migration Crisis!” the drunken Indian women stumbled to the microphones, hoping to reverse what her wine boxes had done. But because of her inability to communicate human sentences, all that got out was:
“What some have done with Mama’s VP juice boxes is an outrage. My staff, all of whom have been fired again, have burdened this nation by what they have done. We still need about 62,000 more voter registera—I mean we need more beautiful middle-aged, male Mexicans so badly. So elect me. And I will boldly say, MR. COCONUT, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL!”
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