KEATON BEACH, FL. — As Gov. Ron DeSantis surveyed the damage left by Hurricane Helene, he was overheard muttering perhaps the most damning characterization possible.
“Holy s—, are we sure this was caused by weather? This looks like Newsom. You’re sure Gavin wasn’t here?” DeSantis asked a staffer. “This looks almost as bad as California. Almost.”
Even after the governor was assured the wreckage was from the storm, he still needed to be sure. He demanded the clean-up crew look for poop and syringes.
Once Gavin Newsome heard the slight from DeSantis, he issued the following video statement via Twitter:
“Earlier today, Ron DeSantis, if that is his real name, issued a threat to democracy by making fun of me again. Now, I’m a big boy. With a little help from the DOJ, I can handle this. But his comments offended the great people of California. Unlike Ron, I don’t ever say offensive things to our state’s many birthing people and penis possessors. I wouldn’t dream of embarrassing them. Hell, they’ve got enough going on. They’re consistently looking for abortions, and most of them will never find a valid I.D. Poor things. Oh, and one more thing for ol’ Ron DeSantis. Don’t compare the disaster in Florida to California. I see nothing but clean-up crews repairing your state. We don’t ever clean up over here. So get your facts straight before making a fool of yourself.”
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