WASHINGTON, DC — A House hearing featuring Dr. Fauci, the fake health expert, contradicted himself a record 32 times. Little did he know, the head coach of the USA gymnastics squad was watching, and he frantically reached out to the brilliant doctor. “I’ve never seen such flipping and flopping,” the coach later told Fauci over…
Category: Sports News
Now Rich And Retired, Megan Rapinoe And Sue Bird Vow To End Women's Sports
SEATTLE, WA – America’s favorite pair of athletes have retired from whatever sports they were trying to play. And now, they have a new mission: Completely end sports for all women. “We don’t need these anymore,” Rapinoe said about all women’s leagues. “Have you seen the endorsement check I got from Subway? There are literally…
NFL To Clean Up Image By Telling Halftime Performers They Can Only Say The N-Word 182 Times
LAS VEGAS, NV –The NFL has an image problem, and Commissioner Roger Goodell has vowed to correct it. Shortly after announcing that Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre would be headlining this year’s Super Bowl halftime show, Goodell demanded no more than 182 N-words to be yelled during their performance. “I have spoken with Mr. Dogg…
Biden Orders F-22 Raptor Shoot Down ‘Brown, Egg-Shaped’ Object Flying Over Super Bowl Field
LAS VEGAS, NV – Joe Biden’s paranoia of receiving bad press for being lackadaisical about airborne objects reached new levels Sunday when the fictional President ordered the military to shoot down the football during live Super Bowl play. “I’m trying to watch the Stupid Bowl—na na na, not the Stupid bowl, the STOOPER Bowl, and,…