NEW YORK, NY – The WNBA is proud (the normal proud—not the gay kind) to announce that in the event they sell one, all profits from jersey sales will be split equally among the league’s players.
“If that day ever comes when we actually sell a jersey, I guess I’ll start gathering quotes from local textile companies to see who will make us one,” said the guy who runs the WNBA from the back room of a New York area dry cleaners. “But I don’t want to spend a lot of time on absurd hypotheticals.”
The WNBA players will still be required to knit their own jerseys and bring sandwiches in the event a man attends a game. Yet the players are still acting hysterical and are unhappy with the big news.
“Steph Curry has made over 3,000 three-pointers and gets paid hundreds of millions. Meanwhile, I’ve dribbled the ball off my foot over 4,000 times,” Palmdale Platypus guard Shawnta Jackson said. “So I’m putting up big numbers too, but I’m twenty thousand in debt. Explain that.”
Update: If someone buys a WNBA jersey, they will be given the one off the girl’s back.
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