In a puzzling move, the DNC has instructed Mayor Pete Buttigieg to go ahead and claim victory of the entire 2020 presidential election.
“WOW! Can you believe it, you guys?!” Buttigieg yelled. “We just BEAT DONALD TRUMP!” the mayor proclaimed to a stunned New Hampshire crowd.
Political pundits are praising the tactic citing that this is the only hope for Democrats. More importantly, the media is choosing to honor the results from Buttigieg’s improbable victory.
“I know it sounds crazy, but this is basically what we did in Iowa,” DNC Chairman, Tom Perez admitted. “We thought we would get hell from the Bernie Bros, but because they’re always complaining about something no one seemed to notice. It just kind of worked.”
Former President, Donald Trump did not give President Pete the courtesy of a congratulatory phone call. Rather, Trump simply tweeted: “WRONG” and is refusing to vacate the White House.