A sober Joe Rogan is now admitting he had smoked an “entire fanny pack” of marijuana shortly before endorsing Senator Bernie Sanders. For the older readers of The Glorious American, marijuana is a name sometimes used to describe the sticky icky devil lettuce. Rogan addressed his embarrassing blunder on a recent podcast.
“Before I begin, I want to apologize to the millions of listeners who heard me say I would vote for Ber… [Explicit], I can’t even say it. Who heard me say I would vote for Bernie Sanders,” the podcaster said while fighting back tears. “I accidentally smoked an entire fanny pack of weed and I was absolutely wasted,” he admitted as he smashed his temples with his hands in complete humiliation. “Everyone knows I’m a Trump man,” he said while securely fastening a MAGA hat to his bald head.
Despite clearing the air, Rogan became so dejected with himself he began a series of MMA attacks against his person. But because he was so well trained in the sport, he anticipated every move and flawlessly avoided each maneuver.
“Get over here you rat commie sympathizing bastard!” Rogan yelled as he rolled around on the table narrowly evading himself.
Update: When officials from the Biden campaign saw footage of the podcaster’s bizarre behavior they mistakenly believed it was a clear endorsement of Joe and quickly cut an ad explaining so.